Comments for Antibullyingcrusador's Weblog http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com Let's Recognize, Name, and End, Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together! Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:26:40 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Tactics Of A Workplace Serial Bully Boss. By ABC by John http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/tactics-of-a-workplace-serial-bully-boss/#comment-865 John Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:26:40 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=38#comment-865 I had my first bullying with a physician in the practice I work in. This female physician got miffed when on a busy day I didn't pay 100% attention to a situation which was not important to me at that time. After dealing with the situation she returned to my office an proceeded to rip into me a degrade me in front of a company rep, another phsician and medical assistant. When I stood up to leave she blocked my path which would have resulted in physical contact causing me to stop and told "I better remember who I work for". After seeing RED I left the office in a rage. Later that afternoon I was called in the office to meet with 2 other physicians who informed me that she is accusing me of physically threatening her (I stand 6'2 she is 5' ) because I stood up and told her she could not talk to me like that. She later joined the meeting where I was expected to express that it was not my intention to physically threaten her which is true, but was informed if this happens in the future she will sue me for assalt and sue the practice. See she is not a partner in the practice. I'm so mad I can spit but came to work today and worked as if nothing happened. I don't know how long I can kkep up the charade. I had my first bullying with a physician in the practice I work in. This female physician got miffed when on a busy day I didn’t pay 100% attention to a situation which was not important to me at that time. After dealing with the situation she returned to my office an proceeded to rip into me a degrade me in front of a company rep, another phsician and medical assistant. When I stood up to leave she blocked my path which would have resulted in physical contact causing me to stop and told “I better remember who I work for”. After seeing RED I left the office in a rage. Later that afternoon I was called in the office to meet with 2 other physicians who informed me that she is accusing me of physically threatening her (I stand 6′2 she is 5′ ) because I stood up and told her she could not talk to me like that. She later joined the meeting where I was expected to express that it was not my intention to physically threaten her which is true, but was informed if this happens in the future she will sue me for assalt and sue the practice. See she is not a partner in the practice. I’m so mad I can spit but came to work today and worked as if nothing happened. I don’t know how long I can kkep up the charade.

]]> Comment on Tactics Of A Workplace Serial Bully Boss. By ABC by Kathy http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/tactics-of-a-workplace-serial-bully-boss/#comment-862 Kathy Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:32:17 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=38#comment-862 Thank you for this article and these posts! I worked for a family business for 8 years, and then the owner passed away, leaving their son in charge. We merged with another company, and I have a new boss, but the "adult child" is still a co-owner. I'm under a microscope every second of every work day. I can't evan have the "appearance" of an error, or he is immediately calling or e-mailing my new boss. He's said I am totally incompetant, a jackass, he doesn't like how I dress, what my hair looks like, or the sound of my voice. I have 2 degrees, 30 years in the business, have done a great job for the company, and yet I feel absolutely beaten down day in and day out. There's such a sense of unreality dealing with him; absolutely acceptable actions are twisted into something else completely, and there's never any resolution because he has to win. It this was a marriage, he'd be classified as an abuser, but because it's the workplace, he gets away with it. He dislikes women, (Hated his mother, his sisters, and his grandmother, all of whom worked at the business, until we merged.) and thinks they're beineath him - in his terms, they are "Peons". He hates "weak people" - his quote, and I have epilepsy. (Controlled - no seizures in 8 years, but he knows about it) I have never had such hatred for anyone in my life, and Ithen hate seeinf that in myself.! Management here caters to him because he is a co-owner. I don't know what to do. Every day is an exercise in humiliation with him - he is absolutely gleeful if he actually finds something to point to. My boss just tells me to make damn sure I don't ever make a mistake with him, so I'm living on pins and needles; double checking and triple checking the tiniest thing. I even quit taking my medication for the seizures because they can make you drowsy, and make it harder to focus. But it's all a losing battle, and I'm stuck here becasue of the medical insurance. I need a voodoo doll, or a good assassin! Thank you for this article and these posts! I worked for a family business for 8 years, and then the owner passed away, leaving their son in charge. We merged with another company, and I have a new boss, but the “adult child” is still a co-owner. I’m under a microscope every second of every work day. I can’t evan have the “appearance” of an error, or he is immediately calling or e-mailing my new boss. He’s said I am totally incompetant, a jackass, he doesn’t like how I dress, what my hair looks like, or the sound of my voice. I have 2 degrees, 30 years in the business, have done a great job for the company, and yet I feel absolutely beaten down day in and day out. There’s such a sense of unreality dealing with him; absolutely acceptable actions are twisted into something else completely, and there’s never any resolution because he has to win. It this was a marriage, he’d be classified as an abuser, but because it’s the workplace, he gets away with it. He dislikes women, (Hated his mother, his sisters, and his grandmother, all of whom worked at the business, until we merged.) and thinks they’re beineath him – in his terms, they are “Peons”. He hates “weak people” – his quote, and I have epilepsy. (Controlled – no seizures in 8 years, but he knows about it) I have never had such hatred for anyone in my life, and Ithen hate seeinf that in myself.! Management here caters to him because he is a co-owner. I don’t know what to do. Every day is an exercise in humiliation with him – he is absolutely gleeful if he actually finds something to point to. My boss just tells me to make damn sure I don’t ever make a mistake with him, so I’m living on pins and needles; double checking and triple checking the tiniest thing. I even quit taking my medication for the seizures because they can make you drowsy, and make it harder to focus. But it’s all a losing battle, and I’m stuck here becasue of the medical insurance. I need a voodoo doll, or a good assassin!

]]> Comment on Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon. By ABC by some dude http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/08/14/isolation-a-bullys-most-harmful-weapon-by-abc/#comment-861 some dude Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:41:21 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=316#comment-861 It could have never been better articulated. Congradulations!... now how should we deal with a situation like that. I think in my case the boss has a negative ego. This individual does what ever it takes to ensure a project is not successful shamelessly....and for some reason has managed to keep the job for long time.... It could have never been better articulated. Congradulations!… now how should we deal with a situation like that.
I think in my case the boss has a negative ego. This individual does what ever it takes to ensure a project is not successful shamelessly….and for some reason has managed to keep the job for long time….

]]> Comment on THE NEW YORK TIMES – MEET THE WORK PLACE BULLY – 251 COMMENTS – ADD YOURS TODAY! by Qucadzig http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/03/13/the-new-york-times-meet-the-work-place-bully-251-comments-add-yours-today/#comment-860 Qucadzig Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:36:43 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=11#comment-860 comment2 comment2

]]> Comment on Tactics Of A Workplace Serial Bully Boss. By ABC by Yikes http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/tactics-of-a-workplace-serial-bully-boss/#comment-859 Yikes Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:38:49 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=38#comment-859 I was just fired by a Bully last week. Until I found this website I didn't realize this was so common. My boss fits this profile perfectly. I have worked for this company for over 10 years and always had great evals until the new boss/bully came on less than 2 years ago. I had never been written up until she accused me of saying things I didn't say. Then finally last week fired me for reasons that are not true. HR will not do anything about her. Several people have quit or been fired and I can only hope that the upper managers figure her out soon. My next obstacle is to try to get unemployment. Any advise out there? I was just fired by a Bully last week. Until I found this website I didn’t realize this was so common. My boss fits this profile perfectly. I have worked for this company for over 10 years and always had great evals until the new boss/bully came on less than 2 years ago. I had never been written up until she accused me of saying things I didn’t say. Then finally last week fired me for reasons that are not true. HR will not do anything about her. Several people have quit or been fired and I can only hope that the upper managers figure her out soon.
My next obstacle is to try to get unemployment. Any advise out there?

]]> Comment on ABOUT-ABC by indignant2 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/about/#comment-857 indignant2 Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:51:27 +0000 #comment-857 dear Hell on earth Although I don't respond to posts, I visit this site often. I feel sympathy for the targets of WP bullying and what they have suffered, or are suffering. Sorry to read of what you are going through at work. You mentioned that this disease didn’t exist 20 years ago. I have been in employment for 40 years and from what I’ve seen, it has always been around. I’d prefer to be friends with people and quietly get on with my job but WP bullies seem to ENJOY being nasty, which gives them extra impetus. I can’t understand what they get out of being so brutal. Websites like this show me I’m not alone. And the advice is good. It’s only in the last few months that I’ve managed to retaliate against my WP bully. It’s almost bewildering how they backed off! Now life is a little easier for me but the threat is always lurking. If a bully sees an opening, they will strike. And I’ve noticed that if one bully backs off, another one emerges from their corner. It’s never-ending! I get further solace and amusement by reading www.workrant.com and from having my own blog where I can rant and get my thoughts in order. Thanks for your post and to teana (and all the others) for sharing. Best wishes. dear Hell on earth
Although I don’t respond to posts, I visit this site often. I feel sympathy for the targets of WP bullying and what they have suffered, or are suffering. Sorry to read of what you are going through at work.
You mentioned that this disease didn’t exist 20 years ago. I have been in employment for 40 years and from what I’ve seen, it has always been around. I’d prefer to be friends with people and quietly get on with my job but WP bullies seem to ENJOY being nasty, which gives them extra impetus. I can’t understand what they get out of being so brutal.
Websites like this show me I’m not alone. And the advice is good. It’s only in the last few months that I’ve managed to retaliate against my WP bully. It’s almost bewildering how they backed off! Now life is a little easier for me but the threat is always lurking. If a bully sees an opening, they will strike. And I’ve noticed that if one bully backs off, another one emerges from their corner. It’s never-ending!
I get further solace and amusement by reading http://www.workrant.com and from having my own blog where I can rant and get my thoughts in order. Thanks for your post and to teana (and all the others) for sharing.
Best wishes.

]]> Comment on ABOUT-ABC by Hell on earth http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/about/#comment-856 Hell on earth Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:35:45 +0000 #comment-856 Teana-one thing I notice from this site is that no one seems to come back to it or reply to each other-I believe we all came here as a last desperate search for comfort and terrible things have happened to us. It is not our imagination or fault-we were targetted and mobbed for no reason of our doing or control and while bullies have always existed this disease of the workplace did not exist 20yrs ago. It is of modern invention and needs to be legislated-but I doubt it ever will. What does need to happen is support systems for victims. For example, job references need to be legislated. My bully boss...the day I met her... said home phone #'s should be given on references so that she can trash the employee without fear of legal repercussions! I read in the paper the other day of a local school holding a good charachter day-schools now seeing the need to teach children to be good to each other-because parents/media were/are teaching them the opposite. I found this website here when I was surfing the net out of curiousity about a game called The Mafia Game I overheard my young mobsters laughing about and extending invitations to another coworker to join. Imagine my shock to learn this game is being banned in schools across America where young kids are committing suicide in despair. I now realize I grew up so sheltered because for so many years I thought the world was good and just. I pray good futures for all of you. Teana-one thing I notice from this site is that no one seems to come back to it or reply to each other-I believe we all came here as a last desperate search for comfort and terrible things have happened to us. It is not our imagination or fault-we were targetted and mobbed for no reason of our doing or control and while bullies have always existed this disease of the workplace did not exist 20yrs ago. It is of modern invention and needs to be legislated-but I doubt it ever will. What does need to happen is support systems for victims. For example, job references need to be legislated. My bully boss…the day I met her… said home phone #’s should be given on references so that she can trash the employee without fear of legal repercussions! I read in the paper the other day of a local school holding a good charachter day-schools now seeing the need to teach children to be good to each other-because parents/media were/are teaching them the opposite. I found this website here when I was surfing the net out of curiousity about a game called The Mafia Game I overheard my young mobsters laughing about and extending invitations to another coworker to join. Imagine my shock to learn this game is being banned in schools across America where young kids are committing suicide in despair. I now realize I grew up so sheltered because for so many years I thought the world was good and just. I pray good futures for all of you.

]]> Comment on ABOUT-ABC by teana http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/about/#comment-855 teana Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:20:41 +0000 #comment-855 i am a victim of workplace bullying/mobbing in order to stop the monsters that inflict this treatment on us we have to fight back, i mean literally push our legislatures to make this horrible treatment illegal, as long as we crawl in a hole and die the abusers will be satisfied. although this type of violence is not illegal i have to fight back these people want to destroy you financially by pushing you out of your job also emotionally by making your life a living hell, im seeking support because im taking my abusers to court win or lose, i wont stop telling the world what these monsters did to me. i am a victim of workplace bullying/mobbing in order to stop the monsters that inflict this treatment on us we have to fight back, i mean literally push our legislatures to make this horrible treatment illegal, as long as we crawl in a hole and die the abusers will be satisfied. although this type of violence is not illegal i have to fight back these people want to destroy you financially by pushing you out of your job also emotionally by making your life a living hell, im seeking support because im taking my abusers to court win or lose, i wont stop telling the world what these monsters did to me.

]]> Comment on Tactics Of A Workplace Serial Bully Boss. By ABC by Michelle http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/tactics-of-a-workplace-serial-bully-boss/#comment-854 Michelle Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:56:07 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=38#comment-854 You have no idea how much this post helped me express and explain how my boss and my best friend boss works. It is an amazing comfort to know that we are not alone. I am bringing this as a print out to my counsellor and I gave a hand out to my parents are well. Thank you very, very much. If a boss wants good workers they need to stop damaging and manipulating the situation in order for them to positively work effectively and not take it out on the staff. You have no idea how much this post helped me express and explain how my boss and my best friend boss works. It is an amazing comfort to know that we are not alone. I am bringing this as a print out to my counsellor and I gave a hand out to my parents are well. Thank you very, very much. If a boss wants good workers they need to stop damaging and manipulating the situation in order for them to positively work effectively and not take it out on the staff.

]]> Comment on Revenge, Getting Back at The Bully Boss. By ABC by Mad and Bullied http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/2008/04/26/revenge-getting-back-at-the-bully-boss-by-abc/#comment-853 Mad and Bullied Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:23:03 +0000 http://antibullyingcrusador.wordpress.com/?p=46#comment-853 I have another opionion on this type of behavior in the workplace (being a bully). I have a friend that refuses to give into this practice at any position. There have been a few times in his life when he was faced with this situation. However, instead of doing nothing and remaining the victim, he fought back. Often times being immoral and border-line illegal. These actions were not beneficial in his career (since most of the time that a bully tries to cause problems in a job they are successful (or they wouldn't be bullies)), however, I spoke to him recently regarding his actions and he feels great satisfaction in getting back at his attacker. He feels that his actions not only get back at the bully but insure that this bully will think twice about acting again. Also, he feels that his revenge reduce the amount of bullying that occurs in the workplace simply by word of mouth. I have to agree with his opinion. If you do not act you are most definitely causing yourself some major issues to deal with (while the bully probably doesn't think about you at all or feels pretty good that he was successful). Also, if you do nothing you are definitely insuring that the bully will act again. When I say act, I mean legally, do some research, there are ways that you can tell your story to people in a way that there is a documented history of actions of the bully so that at least his bosses know this as well as other people that will have interaction with him. It is not illegal to publish your opinion or factual information on websites and it is not illegal to send emails to people stating your opinions or factual events that occur. Think about this, if you saw a bully punch someone in face, would you stand there and do nothing? I have another opionion on this type of behavior in the workplace (being a bully). I have a friend that refuses to give into this practice at any position. There have been a few times in his life when he was faced with this situation. However, instead of doing nothing and remaining the victim, he fought back. Often times being immoral and border-line illegal. These actions were not beneficial in his career (since most of the time that a bully tries to cause problems in a job they are successful (or they wouldn’t be bullies)), however, I spoke to him recently regarding his actions and he feels great satisfaction in getting back at his attacker. He feels that his actions not only get back at the bully but insure that this bully will think twice about acting again. Also, he feels that his revenge reduce the amount of bullying that occurs in the workplace simply by word of mouth.

I have to agree with his opinion. If you do not act you are most definitely causing yourself some major issues to deal with (while the bully probably doesn’t think about you at all or feels pretty good that he was successful). Also, if you do nothing you are definitely insuring that the bully will act again.

When I say act, I mean legally, do some research, there are ways that you can tell your story to people in a way that there is a documented history of actions of the bully so that at least his bosses know this as well as other people that will have interaction with him. It is not illegal to publish your opinion or factual information on websites and it is not illegal to send emails to people stating your opinions or factual events that occur.

Think about this, if you saw a bully punch someone in face, would you stand there and do nothing?

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