Dear ABC. ABC Answers Your Questions.

I am the victim of workplace bullying and mobbing and I was just fired from my job of 9 years.

  1. “Targets” of workplace bullying and mobbing are described on dozens of anti-bullying web sites. These web sites use the following terms the most, when describing “Targets”;
    • honest
    • hard workers
    • better than average work performance
    • better than average popularity
    • willing to please
    • avoids conflict and confrontation
    • nonpolitical
    • nonconformist
    • avoids cliques
    • high integrity
    • strong work ethic
    • high sense of fairness
    • doesn’t hold grudges
    • and my favorite – “the salt of the earth
    Read the above “what we already know” and “the terms used the most, when targets are described on web sites” again, and as many times as you need to, to let it sink in. Think about it. As Seinfeld’s mother would say “What’s there not to like?” How could anyone, other than a bully that is, not want to hire someone with as many positive attributes as you?
    Not knowing anything about you, other than the words that you wrote me, I am able to pickup on several positive attributes based on that alone. Your ability to tell your story succinctly, while using good grammar and correct spelling says a lot about your attention to detail and intelligence. Your thought processes seem clear and focused. You are not rambling, repeating, nor disjointed. I suspect that any psychiatric symptoms, for example “depression, anxiety, and paranoia and with what was diagnosed as adult ADD” are all related to, and are symptoms of, the emotional injuries you have been sustaining on your job, NOT a pre-existing mental illness. Now that you have been relieved from the exposure of the dysfunction at your workplace, you can at least, sort this whole mess up in your own head, if nowhere else.
    Try to relax and enjoy the first few weeks of living bully-free as much as possible. Give yourself permission to forget about these problems initially. Instead, focus on nutritious eating, light exercise, enjoyable hobbies, and the good company of family and friends whom you don’t work with. Use those medical benefits to get any physical or emotional medical attention that you may need. This is the time to relax and heal.
    After an adequate period of down time, you will know your well on your way to the road of recovery, when you begin to feel curious about other job opportunities. You might have ideas about what to write on your resume or you might see the perfect outfit to wear to an interview. Give yourself a pep talk by remembering all the positive ways you contributed to the success of your old employer. Remember those first 7 years there, when you felt valued? Give examples of your successes during these early years, when speaking with a potential new employer. Borrowing the self-esteem, enthusiasm and examples from an earlier, more positive work experience, may win you the job of your dreams. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Finding the job of your dreams, knowing you never would have found it, if they didn’t fire you first!?!
    There are so many other things to consider during this period of your life. Once you have a plan for your ongoing survival, or a means of support, there remains the question of what to do about this now “past” abuse in your life. The three options that come to mind are:
    Walk away and
    • Forget it
    • Seek revenge
    • Seek justice – What are the legal options To read my opinion about the “revenge” option, Read my article “Revenge, Getting Back at The Bully Boss” on my Word press Web blog. You can get there by clicking on the link below;
    I think you’ll be most interested in an article I am working on now, which will probably be titled “Seeking Justice, What are The Legal Options”. So keep posted to learn more about the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing. Let’s learn to Recognize it, Name it, and End workplace bullying and mobbing together! Sincerely ABC

One Response

  1. I am a victim of a work place bully and have been for many years. To make matters worse the bully is a high ranking police official. It has reached a point that I have been placed on medical leave because I am too sick to perform my once loved job. In a few weeks my FMLA will run out and I will be terminated from the career I have had for many years. Do I fight and risk being arrested on trumped up charges or walk away and heal? I have devoted my life to fighting for those who can not fight for themselves. Here I sit crumpled in tears, wondering if it is right to fight for myself.


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