Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon. By ABC


Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon

By ABC

Targets are often chosen by their bullies because of their better than average work performance. Bullies often feel threatened by good performers, because it increases their own feelings of inadequacy and shame. While mentally healthy people applaud and enjoy working and learning from those who excel, bullies can’t stand to see someone other then themselves shine.

Those whose good performance wins the attention of a bully, suddenly finds their successes minimized. Their once valued opinion is no longer asked. Their responsibility for unimportant matters often increases, while their authority is taken from them, often replaced by a bully’s friend. Targets are no longer asked to participate in planning meetings, special projects, or even social events. Important information is no longer communicated to them, as they are intentionally “taken out of the loop”, causing embarrassment and/or some kind of failure due to their lack of what coworkers perceive to be common knowledge. The bully begins a campaign of nitpicking, criticism, and personal insults usually done behind closed doors and in subtle ways. The bully often targets one person at a time, making it hard for coworkers to believe the abuse is real as reported by the target. Often, only the target and the bully themselves, know the true nature of the bully.

The target begins to react emotionally to these abusive changes, which they don’t understand, because there is no real reason other than the bully’s whim, even amusement at the targets distress. Targets often become obsessed by the bully, searching for the reasons for the abuse, that doesn’t exist. The bully points out the targets emotional distress to coworkers, often feigning concern, along with rumors, gossip and half or twisted truths about the target, in order to manipulate others into questioning the target’s competency and mental health..

Most coworkers believe the bully, not understanding that the target is displaying symptoms of an emotional injury, perpetrated by the bully, rather than mental illness as often alleged by the bully. Coworkers then unwittingly participate in the bullying, which is called mobbing. The few coworkers, who may know the truth, usually won’t stick up for the target, to avoid becoming a target themselves.

Isolation is the most emotionally painful experience a mentally healthy person can endure. That is why isolation is a primary tactic used to punish or torture. It is the bully’s most harmful weapon. I remember a Nun teaching in grade school that no one knows what Hell is like. We can only be sure of one thing. If you go to Hell, you will be ALONE.

Read more in the link below about  the affect of social isolation, which our bullies often cause. Isolation results in real damage to our health and well-being. Sincerely ABC

http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/full/63/2/273

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14 Responses

  1. It could have never been better articulated. Congradulations!… now how should we deal with a situation like that.
    I think in my case the boss has a negative ego. This individual does what ever it takes to ensure a project is not successful shamelessly….and for some reason has managed to keep the job for long time….

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  2. There is truth to the fact that we are humans and as humans we do not want to be alone. Bully’s love it when a victim does not have friends. Why? Because there are power in numbers and bullies will not go after someone surrounded by a lot of friends. The buddy system works.

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  3. Bunnings had a Timber Manager who was a bully have read about this on the net. The description above seems to fit the personality of the bully Manager and the other Managers involved. Reading about the situation with Bunnings shows how a situation handled incorrectly can get out of hand. Did this Timber Manager have control over Bunnings itself? It would appear so. As when caught out the Management Team conspired to set the victim up. But unknown to them he recorded what went on and Bunnings got caught out. It would appear the Company conspired to be very dishonest and try to set the victim up. This situation can help others who go thru this to do the same. Record what goes on and catch Them Out.

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  4. My child is being bullied at school and i need help please can some one please help

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    • “Document the abuse.” Every time something happens, write it in a notebook with date and time. This record will be the foundation of holding the bully(ies) to account.

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  5. Sorry! This website is about workplace bullying which is an adult problem and very much different than school-yard bullying. The good new is, there are already laws in the United States against school-yard bullying. Contact the principle of your child’s school and report your child’s problem. Best of Luck, ABC

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  6. Wow! You just described everything that I have endured for the past five years at work! My problem started six months after I was hired. The bully zoomed in on me from day one.

    When I arrived at the company, the bully was the belle of the ball. The person she replaced was a total incompetent, which in turn made the bully appear to be a genius. The problem is she was not qualified for the job. To this day, she still gets people to do her work for her! I was not having any of that nonsense.

    I have more than thirty years’ experience in the industry, where as she had none. When I was given assignments, I was able to turn around the product quickly. It got the point that it felt like she was in competion with me.

    One day I had offered to buy pizza for the mailroom guys who had helped me with a huge project. Unbeknownst to me she told the guys that I could not afford it, while earlier that morning she told me that it was not good idea to get pizza for the guys because management would frown upon my actions, I of course believed her. She offered to get me off the hook and made me look like a fool.

    I was also held against my will in a conference room and repeatedly told how stupid and useless I was and that everyone hated me. I was also told that I should quit and make life easier for everyone.
    .
    Anytime I made a new friend, she was certain to sabotage the relationship. It got to the point where no one would have lunch with me or speak to me unless they needed to. Every Friday afternoon, the bully would order beautiful desserts; she would call everyone to partake in her generosity, I was always excluded.

    After several years of being bullied, the situation became so bad that I ended up in therapy. Because of the extreme stress, I became so physically ill that I had to be hospitalized for various physical illnesses. Stress has a way of manifesting in the most unusual ways.of affecting your health.

    How do I deal with this sitution? I stay as far away from her as I can. Occasionally she parades in front of my workstation with one of her remaining cohorts. I guess she wants to show me that she is in charge. I ignore her. I have faith that one day she will get what she has coming to her.

    Ignoring a person is the cruelest thing one human can ever do to another. Depriving a person of the fundamental need of human interaction is the most dehumanizing experience I have ever endured in my life. Dealing with the half-truths and the silly rumors could not compare to the deprivation of human contact.

    Thank you for your post, I was feeling a little down today. I was seeking for answers as to why people do what they do and I just happen to click on your link. I have learned to rise above. I have a beautiful family, loving, fun and the joy of my life.

    Rarely is there a weekend where my house is empty. My home is full of family, friends, kids and dogs running all over the place. My home is fully of happiness, joy and love.

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  7. Social ostracism is a harsh punishment that tends to make everyone look evil. I have social anxiety, and I thought I was making a breakthrough when I met someone who I thought would help me make it in show business. I wish this was a situation where I could have just walk away, but unfortunately the bully wouldnt let me. I have been regretting the way I reacted to the abuse for awhile now since I feel like that was the cause of my ostracism/alienation. I realize now that I would be crazy not to get angry at someone dehumanizing me soo underhandedly. My biggest issue is how most people assume that I deserve what I am going through and have a tendency to join in on the gossipping and alienation. Its been three years now since I have had a social life; every effort to thrive socially in my early twenties have been thwarted somehow. I didnt realize how much damage these people could inflict on my life, and for no reason at all. Im trying to learn how to trust people again; I have to learn how to keep that one bad apple from ruining everything. I wish there was a better guideline for escaping these injustices, but in the end I realize it relies alot on others participating in humanity and not inhumanity (which seems to be valued in mainstream culture today).

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  8. Iv experienced this behaviour for most of my life which has affected my education, relationships with other people including women and for the past 23 years iv been a victim of antisocial behaviour by the local health authority i’m under – Gynaecologist/Obstetrician a doctor who specializes in women’s reproductive systems pregnancy/ child birth etc, has diagnosed me without him having a licence in psychiatry as suffering from paranoia and caused everybody in the health authority to believe him, this has left me in severe physical pain for 23 years with stabbing headaches and stabbing eye pains, passing kidney stone, stomache cramps, been forced into court because I threatened him to make him stay away from me – this was on the day my father died, when I ask solicitors for help no one is willing to help, along with this iv been a victim of anti – social behaviour – 9 windows smashed in in 12 years with the police failing to stop it, then police on the say so of other people give me an harassment warning order which after 1 month they then send letter of apology because they find out that on the day the person accused me of harassment I was in queens gardens police station complaining I was innocent and even though from day 1 I told police I was in Queens Gardens Police station in Hull England police did not believe me until 1 later.

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  9. […] tacit efforts to isolate are, in fact, a common tool of bullies.  One anti-bullying organization notes that “Bullies often feel threatened by good performers, because it increases their own […]

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  10. I am being socially “outed” at work by a bully. Coworkers will talk to me but not when they are around. They are overly nice to their alliances, they have even resorted to befriending my only alliance, completely isolating me. I understand the postal reaction, leaning towards that…

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  11. English is not my language, but i will try to explain. When i searched first time, for social isolation, i was searching for peace, but i never had peace since i stated to isolate myself. People started to attack me in my daylife. Psychopaths. So, the only way to be free, is giving up happyness, peace, everything, and embracing depression, darkness, hatred etc To have sucess in life is not doing what the system tell you to do. I started to hate life and people. And i think it’s important to have a religion too, it’s important to believe in life after death, because there’s no courage in the atheist.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is a website that teaches people about adults who “bully”. A bully IS a psychopath. Psychopaths have no caring feelings, they enjoy the pain of others. Psychopaths like to hurt people. Most people HATE isolation which is reason psychopaths try to cause it, to hurt people.

      You enjoy isolation which gives you peace, makes you feel free and happy. I do too. Psychopath saw isolation makes you happy. Psychopath HATES it when people are happy. Psychopath takes away your isolation, peace and happiness by visiting and attacking you.

      I am not sure what you mean by ;

      “So, the only way to be free, is giving up happiness, peace, everything, and embracing depression, darkness, hatred etc. To have success in life is not doing what the system tell you to”

      But “If success in this life” means “embracing depression, darkness, hatred.” Stop seeking success in this life. These are the things of Satan, and NEVER leads to everlasting life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Instead:

      “Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14″)

      And

      Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.(Matthew 6:33)

      Believing and having faith in GOD is the MOST important thing there is in this life.. Doing what God wants is what brings you to everlasting life in Heaven.

      There are other articles on this website you may enjoy. The best are: “Spiritual Aspects of Workplace Bullying” and :”Adult Bullying, Good vs Evil”.

      I hope this helps, you are in my prayers,

      God Bless You. ABC-AntiBullyingCrusador

      Like

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