Job Loss due to Workplace Bullying, Taken Down by a Bully Boss. By ABC


Job Loss Due to Bullying / ABC Finally Taken Down By Bully Boss.  Next Step Recovery.  By ABC

I finally lost my job at the hands of my workplace serial bully boss, leaving at the end of November, after being accused of incompetence, based on uncompleted data entry, while working alone on a holiday.  Everything possible that could go wrong, did go wrong on that day, probably the worst day of my entire career.  I worked 11 hours that day, without a break or a meal despite being physically ill with a raging sore throat.

I called the office early the next morning reaching a coworker, and described the problems of the previous day, including how long I had worked.  I told her I would be late, being both exhausted and ill.  As soon as I arrived, I was called to Human Resources, where my bully boss was waiting, with a Human Resource Rep., having been found guilty before I could speak.   Detailing everything that went wrong, made no difference at all, having no witness to attest to my efforts.   She then added to her complaint, my arrival being late, while knowing I worked late and was ill.  Her total lack of empathy,  and disregard for my health, suddenly filled me with a chill, which grew into a fear, by the hate in her voice, thinking her capable of ending my life.  Stating I no longer felt safe, being expected to work ill, I finally left, never returning to my desk.

I had a horrible time with my bully boss for months prior to leaving my job which took a toll on my emotional and physical health.  For the first time in my life, I began having panic attacks, making my mind go blank, leaving me unable to respond to questions.

Since leaving my job, I feel utterly lost and physically and emotionally ill.  I never fully researched recovery after losing a job to bullying, feeling confident that my knowledge of the subject would be enough to protect my emotional and physical health and  prevent losing my job. How wrong I was!


Being a nurse, I logically concluded that I needed psychiatric treatment to help with my recovery, but after being evaluated by 3 different psychiatrists, I feel totally betrayed by that profession. NONE of them ever heard of workplace bullying and none of them seemed willing to take a few moments to look at my website or any other source of information on the subject. All three concluded that I was mentally ill, not emotionally injured, each labeling me with a different diagnosis.

The lessons learned;

-No matter how much you know about the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing, it is almost impossible to make it stop and keep your job.

-Never seek  medical, psychiatric or legal help, for issues related to workplace bullying, from a professional who doesn’t already have an understanding of the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing.

Being “emotionally stuck”, as one reader described it, I have been at a loss for words, leaving me unable to add new content to this website for several months.  But the passage of time in it’s self, is slowly improving my outlook, so keep coming back,  new content will follow soon, most likely about the subject of recovery after job loss due to bullying.

ABC

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67 Responses

  1. Sorry about that. I was taken out in July ’09; it’s been 9 months and I’m now beginning to feel like I can face the world again.

    I worked for my bully boss for years, by the end of the 2nd year I knew that in the end, she’d win. During the last year I completed all tasks as assigned, knowing that what she requested was not what was required (nor was it what she reported to her up line) … if I didn’t do as asked, I was being insubordinate; it was a catch 22 kind of thing.

    thankfully, I got a great exit package. however, her bullying didn’t stop when I left the firm.

    within days, I started receiving weekly junk emails. assume I worked for Feel the Love solutions and internally we were referred to as FtL Sol. the emails I received were from FtL Sol.

    6 month later, I receive a ‘package’ and a note from the WP bully … expressing how she hoped that I was well, etc. and include a pile of crap; which I hadn’t left behind.

    Good Luck with your transition; you’re entering into a time of freedom. Enjoy.

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  2. Bully bosses need to be shot and killed . Plain and simple

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    • Yeah completely lets pray the get a horrible cancer and have less than a year to live. People like this have no right to life.
      If your plan in life is to make others life miserable , you do not have to right to live. You have no right to exist on this planet.

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  3. I was asked to resign two years ago. My bully boss was the HRG and she did this while the HRM went on leave. I had only been there 3 months. She was mean spirt and did whatever she wanted but she was in a good place in not having to be accountable to anyone. The HRM worked part-time giving the HRG all the power and control she wanted.

    The HRG would have me sign I-9 forms without seeing the new hires or seeing original documentation. When I told her I had a problem with it (nicely I might add) she quipped it was not my job to worry about it. This kind of behavior from her went on and on. She would say to me I am management and you are just hourly out of the blue. I didn’t care. I was just glad to have a job.

    Before I got to know how crazy she was she said to me one day I will be at work until midnight tonight and when I asked if she needed help she snapped don’t you have enough work to do. Finally, after many instances of this type of thing and an email from her asking me if I had bought a gun to work. (seriously, she sent me that and it was NOT a joke. She had asked me the day before how I felt about guns and I said it was a personal choice and that I DID NOT HAVE ONE; she told me she was thinking of getting one and then she emailed me that the next day! ). I would NEVER bring a weapon to work.

    She would make snide remarks about the HRM (who was in deed the nicest person I ever met) and she would have these moments where she would slam stuff around and she always had her door closed so when I had a question you never could ask her. She didn’t want you to come in unless it was open. She really just didn’t seem well adjusted on so many levels.

    I just felt powerless in handling her and could not figure her out. I had no one to turn to with the HRM on leave. Should I have gone to the CEO? I think they believe she is doing a fabulous for for them. Do they really care?

    One day she called me into her office with a full one page typed reprimand indicating that I had violated the FSLA by clocking out at 5, but remaining on the premises. I was at my desk locking it up. She told me she saw me sitting at my desk out of the corner of her eye! Plus I had time to make up and she told me before to make it up.

    I did refuse to sign the reprmaind but I was nice about it (I would like to add I was devastated by the reprimand) which in retrospect I should have probably signed it to maybe avoid where I am now…. BUT….she was gunning for me anyway in a sense and I knew it.

    I would run work errands for her and she never paid me for my time and that is a violation of the FLSA but when it suited her she was ok with it! So we discussed the reprimand and she told me how important her job was and how she needed to enforce the rules and then she agreed to dispose of the reprimand.

    As I was leaving I asked her if there was anything else before I left (it was after 5 and I was getting nervous and when I mentioned it she said it is different when you are talking to me I am in management) and then she added you work too slow; I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. First I had heard of that!

    I came into work the next morning (knots in stomach) and she called me into her office about an hour later and said I was not a good fit and I needed to resign. She was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. What was I supposed to do? I wrote one out without thinking and she accepted it.

    I applied for unemployment and, of course, was denied. I have never been in trouble before in my life and I was so depressed after this. I still am over it. My employment history has been very good up until that point! I did pursue my unemployment case and an ALJ did rule in my favor. Saying it was obvious that she got her dander up and let me go for no apparent reason. In the hearing she was soooo rude to him. I think he probably felt sorry for me having to report to her.

    She told him I really put her in a horrible position when I quit and he said to her what are you talking about you’ve already stated you asked her to resign. I was vindicated on that level but have not worked in 2 years.

    Ruling was I was dismissed without cause and so I think it makes me seem problematic to other employers.

    I don’t know about karma but I feel I’ve lived a pretty decent life and been good to others. I like to believe that things happen for a reason and I am to learn from this and leave it behind. I am trying. I try not to spend too much time dwelling on it but every time I fill out an application and it asks have you ever been discharged or been asked to resign I wince.

    My old boss lived by the mantra it is not enough that I suceed but you must fail as well. It was most unpleasant.

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  4. Dear ABC,

    Thank you for this website. It has been such a benefit for me to read the articles you post and to read stories by others.

    I hope you continue to be on the mend and realize that you are not alone and those of us that have witnessed bullying first hand definitely feel your pain.

    The only person mentally ill seems to be your boss who didn’t give a Rat’s A** about anyone but herself! She must have either had a terrible childhood or she has a terrible marriage to treat others so horribly and so indifferent. She just sounds miserable and angry on the inside.

    I read something today that said “Life deals you what it deals you and you move on”. I thought about it and I am trying to move on. Might help if I would find a job though. LOL!

    I also read something on here that said “Live Well”. Live well, ABC. So glad to hear you are doing better.

    You should publish a book, if you haven’t done so already, on this bullying and educate the world!
    Keep writing, ABC! We need you!

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  5. Congratulations! You are now free of a lifestyle that was killing you. I’m in the same boat…have been for a month longer than you. Still feel exhausted most of the time and spending too much time ruminating about the past…but it’s really hard to envision the future. I’m pretty paranoid and demanding when considering new employment and so far am not working. Sucks to be us, but it beats being an unethical, immature, immoral. incompetent bully….or being in range of one.

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  6. ABC, You are my savior. Perhaps this is your calling. We, the sensitive ones, must take the brunt of these sociopaths. You helped me survive this year at work by understanding my serial bully. NEVER IN MY LIFE have I been exposed to such a person.

    She has sacked THREE of us this year in a small staff of 20. The place is in chaos. I feel what she does is evil, and she is not my direct supervisor, but she bullies MY boss to death who now has breast cancer.

    PLEASE WRITE A BOOK. America is BADLY in need of understanding serial bullying. You will save many people, their marriages, their careers.

    God bless you,

    Anon in CA

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  7. Hello ABC, I just found your website and was so sad to read your last post. I, too, worked for a bully for over 20 years and was recently laid off, along with him, by a new parent company. I had stayed all these years because of the money, and fortunately by the end, I had learned (with the help of a couple of really good psychologists) to diffuse most of his temper trantrums and cope well through the rest. But, this I know for sure. Bullies don’t change, unless it’s to get worse. They are who they are, and unfortunately American laws aren’t in place to treat these situations as any other “hostile work environment.” It may not feel like it now, but one day you WILL look back and be so happy to have that chapter of the book of your life behind you. My blessings to you.

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  8. ABC, please post a reply and tell us, your followers, how you are doing, or if there is ANYTHING we can do to help you. I don’t even mind calling you. Honestly, your blog has saved countless numbers from more serious consequences from these psychopathic bullies. The serial kind is the MOST dangerous.

    We care about you…. please post a reply.

    Anon in CA

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  9. ABC-I am going through the same thing and had begun to seriously doubt my sanity. His tactics were so subtle and insidious that when I shared them with my husband, he looked at me like I was crazy.

    Your comments that bosses bully because their workers are too competent is right on! Often workers feel an overwhelming pride in their jobs and loyalty to the company. This irks the bully because they want those feelings attributed to them and not the company.

    I also believe that bullies, cheaters, and just all around bad people operate from a point of fear. Think about it-how many times have you gotten angry when you felt comfortable, happy and most of all, not threatened. My best bet would be zero.

    Keeping the faith that actions will catch up with people is really hard. I remind myself thousands of time a day about the power of karma, but must admit, after 2 1/2 years (which is much less than other folks) I am starting to wonder.

    Please don’t give up and let’s re-start the discussion. What I wonder is what is happening to America when in such a competitive job market, the incompetents continue to rise? These people aren’t, “managers,” in the true sense of the word. I would be curious to see what qualities readers believe make a good manager.

    I will start:

    A good manager is:

    1) Someone who understands and embraces all successful approaches to the job even if they are different from his or hers.

    2) Someone who understands that employees do NOT owe them respect-that has to be earned. What employees must do is be polite, cordial and put in an honest day’s work and their best effort.

    Anyone else?

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    • Have you read about Bunnings Bullying in the workplace? Bunnings procedure when they have a Timber Manager who is a Bully. 1:Take one Store Manager Take one Hardware Manager Take one Regional Manager and Stir. Now with this combination conspire to set the worker up. Now add one Sales Rep one Trade Assistant and Stir together. Bunnings now needs to put a false alegation onto the victim with this combination Time to set the worker UP… Have read about this on another site. This was how Bunnings Resolves Bullying in the workplace. And all Bets were on for Bunnings to go in for the kill. But the Victim Had Recorded the Evidence on tape. One Victim up against Sooooo Many Dishonest Managers etc. Must have evidence against people like this.

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      • Bunnings Bullying in the workplace is unreal this example shows how a company decides how to deal with these situations. Evidence is important what better way than to get it on tape. This is the only way to prove what happens.

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      • Bullying at work is not what people go to work for. When you have someone in charge over the workers who is a bully then it makes life hard. After reading about these situations I would have to agree with James the best way is to tape like that guy that worked for Bunnings. Have read all about this situation with Bunnings very Dishonest Managers.

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    • 3-Manages, does not CONTROL others, only themselves.
      4-Has integrity
      5-Handles affairs with others maturily and fairly

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  10. Terri, Regarding your request for ABC’s readers to post what qualities make a good manager, here are my thoughs:

    1) A good manager recognizes he has power THROUGH people, not OVER people. And by “power” I mean the power entrusted to them by the company to help the company reach its profit objectives.

    2) A good manager sees himself as a leader and works to improve his leadership skills. Great leaders have a knack for inspiring people to WANT to follow him in achieving company goals.

    That’s why, as you said, bullies are threatened by competent people. Really good leaders actually seek out people who are more competent than even they are because their primary objective should be to make the company or individual department successful. That happens when the greatest possible employees are engaged in that process.

    Regarding why bullies (incompetents) continue to rise, I believe the law of supply and demand applies. Now, when America’s unemployment rate is around 10%, there are few job openings to welcome employees fleeing bad work environments. Companies aren’t motivated to do anything about their bully bosses because employees are less likely to resign out of fear of the tough job market. Right now, it’s defintely a company’s market, and companies don’t have to concern themselves too much with unhappy employees because they know there are dozens other candidates standing in line for that job if an employee leaves. But, when the employment rate is low and it’s a job hunter’s market, companies get motivated to make sure good leadership principles are followed because they’re afraid of losing good employees and not being able to replace them quickly.

    That’s why I believe when the bully boss is at the top of the food chain, and there’s no one above him to bring him under control, the employee has to figure out how to either make peace with the situation or leave. Owners that are bully bosses are so self-absorbed they don’t think the laws of supply and demand apply to them, and therefore don’t change their management practices regardless of the job market.

    I enjoyed reading your insights, Terri, and am with you hoping ABC returns and continues facilitating this important discussion. People currently in these workplace bullying situation need good counsel from people who have successfully gone through it.

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  11. I am so glad I found this site, because it was just what I needed.

    My serial bully boss got me two weeks ago, and I had to resign to save my professional CV and my reputation.

    He’d been after me for years, of course, ever since I stood up to him on a minor matter two months after I started, all those years ago. Eventually he had put me before a disciplinary panel some three and a half years ago and I was given a Final Written Warning.

    Mindful of how close I had come to the sack that time I had spent the next two and a half years doing anything and everything to avoid any trouble with the “gentleman” ( he prided himself on being an “old-school-gentleman”, would you believe ? Presumably he had been the old-school-bully ). In the process I reduced myself to a nervous wreck – my once careful judgement went out the window, my plans for my section and staff were reduced to impotence and rubbish, and I began to drink too much.

    Of course, he noticed this I have no doubt, and loved it.

    Well, after a few years I began to actually pull myself together this last couple of months – the drinking got back under control, I began to lose weight in a good way, and I could even face him down on occassions. I felt positive and even began to find a new joy in the job as my trainees began to come to the end of their training and looked ready to spread their wings.

    Fool, Dave, fool…

    He was preparing a trap. He had gone behind the scenes in my computer and found some stuff that left me in a very dangerous spot. Personal things, secret things, nasty little blackmail worthy things.

    And he put them all together as part of his “investgation” and presented them to me. Then he, by himself, decided to convene another disciplinary panel. He was able to frame the charges in such a way that had they gone onto my CV I would have looked even worse than I did – let’s be honest, any potential employer seeing ” misuse of office equipment and internet” is going to think the very, very worst, aren’t they ?

    So I decided to establish some control, the only control I had left, and I resigned.

    I have seen serial bullying at work compared, for its emotional impact, to rape. I believe that to be true. Rape victims drive themselves near despair – indeed some do descend into despair and never recover – as they try to figure out the answer to questions lke ” Why me ?” and ” What did I do to bring on such an attack ?”. I believe the answer to be ” Nothing – except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

    I can even pinpoint the moment my serial bully decided to destroy me – I saw it in his eyes during a presentation I was making. Oh, I didn’t quite realise it at the time but I remember looking up and catching his eye and there was in some weird way a flash between us and the thought ” Uh-oh,,,something happened there…” went through my head. Two days later, he came at me, with all the controlled chill of Hannibal Lecter.

    I’m about to start, at 44, a completely new career. I was a Professional Chartered Surveyor on a very healthy salary, I will be a taxi-driver, in business with a dear, wonderful friend who rallied behind me. My partner keeps reminding me, every day, that the bully can’t hurt me any more, that I’ll never see him again, that we’re safe.

    Part of me knows that…

    …but a larger part of me keeps hearing his voice – that cold, metallic, bitter voice – and I see his dead eyes flash as he knows he has me caught and can gut me as he likes…

    I would say to anyone who suffers this sort of thing – get out. Seriously – don’t think you can ride it out, or that the bully will go away or that they will pick another victim. They won’t. They’ll maybe let you dangle for a time, but that’s only because it’s fun for them. Some day that red mist will come down on them and they’ll come for you, probably when you’re at your happiest and healthiest.

    I’m sorry but it’s true – to the bully, you’re sport.

    Please, please, don’t hesitate, and don’t look back. Get out.

    Sorry I can’t do better for you than that.

    Good luck.

    Dave

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    • Dave,

      I enjoyed your post. Have you considered becoming a writer? I put up with a bully boss for longer than I should have. Could kick myself now for not quitting before she had the chance to let me go. When you described hearing the cold voice over and over I could completely relate. I can see her face and hear those words, the demeaning tone….I play it over and over. People tell me not to go there but I can’t help myself. Each time I think of it I can’t believe that I allowed her to demean me and that I didn’t speak up to her. I will never again put up with a boss like her. I know now that no amount of money is worth your self respect. It would have felt so good to walk into her office and tell her that I would be leaving because I couldn’t work for someone like her. Why did I stay I wonder? It’s crazy. I think it’s similar to women who stay with an abusive husband.

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  12. Dear Dave,

    The two quotes from your comments, which I copied below, reveals your bully’s underlying motivation to take you down. Read the sentences quoted below again, but this time read between the lines, which reveals the most common attribute of targets, that attracts the attention, of closet, serial bully bosses –

    —————————————————————————-
    ” What did I do to bring on such an attack ?”. I believe the answer to be ” Nothing – except be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

    “I can even pinpoint the moment my serial bully decided to destroy me – I saw it in his eyes during a presentation I was making. Oh, I didn’t quite realise it at the time but I remember looking up and catching his eye and there was in some weird way a flash between us and the thought ” Uh-oh,,,something happened there…” went through my head.”
    ———————————————————————————
    It was neither the wrong place, nor the wrong time. The “weird flash” between you WAS real and something DID happen there. What you REALLY saw was the bully’s ENVY as he came to realize during your presentation, that you are more capable than he is. Once a bully realizes a subordinate is more capable than they are, they begin to worry about how quickly others will come to this same conclusion, by the same basis of comparison that attracted the bully’s attention. Every opportunity that demonstrates to others on the job your POSITIVE attributes, is an opportunity that increases a bully’s feelings of inadequacy. It takes a talented person to win the attention of a bully, so feel proud to be a target! I do! ABC

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  13. Thank you, ABC- it was kind of you to take the time to do that.

    As an odd coda to what you have said I heard from a now ex-workmate and he tells me that the bully-boss told him last week that, can you believe the cynicism, said bully would be “happy to write Dave a reference”.

    Which on the one hand is good news for my long term career, and on the other a curious confirmation of your suggestion that he recognised my positive attributes but that, alas, they were in his way. Certainly, he no longer needs to worry about the early retirement that he was apparently a shoo-in for before all this because he’s not actually filling my old post but has taken on the work-load himself.

    Again, thanks. This is a superb site for the psyche.

    Warmest regards

    Dave the Taxi

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  14. ABC, like you am RN and the bullying went on to damage my health and family. I stumbled on EMDR which is used for PTSD, would that we ever get to the post part…it really works even while it is happening. Just days ago was let go..my soul returned to me!! Today had doubts and fears but old friend called and said a bully has no value but really good nurses who care will survive.

    Since this bully is a serial denying bully who gets high from hiring and in fact told me there is nothing I can do to her in that company the situation will go on. HR is entwined with her. Thankfully I was able to spread some antibully stuff to coworkers just yesterday,how it can help when there is no law, no union am not sure.

    I am not glad you have gone through this but you have relieved my feeling of isolation in this time of huge emotional upheaval 48 hrs after..
    hugs to all.

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  15. I worked for the government (local) almost 21years, and had to work with with three bosses in the same position. Each time one was replaced with the same common problem.

    I have finally found tthe only way to beat them at their own game is to watch carefully and start a paper trail and actual; facts. It is relatively easy because they believe they are above you in knowledge, ettc. It really is not that difficult for they are so involved in themselves and trying in many cases, use you as a stepping stone, they really get sloppy about their opinions and want to make sure everyone knows now
    powerful they would like to be.

    One thing for sure, when you make your stand, be dam sure you are willling to lose. Be aware, usually they have friends in higher places.

    I was fortunate, I lasted 21 years, with 10 of those working for a wonderful boss. The only difference is I am a fighter and had to fight to get my pension.I WON..

    Good luck to you guys- both men and wome.

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    • I stumbled across this website, looking for answers. I am actually replying to Arlene, who wrote on 28 Oct 2010. It is now 24 March 2011. I am so glad you won. LIke you, I am a fighter but I am hopefully nearing the end of this particular fight with a bully boss who basically bullies by ignoring. One thing you said which stands out “Be willing to lose”. I will bear that in mind. But just getting away from them, even if the financial compensation is not sufficient, can provide a new lease of life. At least, that is what I am expecting. Thank you. from an Irish woman living in England.

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  16. Am glad to find this site, strengthens those of us in Bullying work situations. I have a manager that tells his employees they are the lowest of the low, if an employee calls in sick or is late, has a hateful, sarcastic nasal aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaa and slams the phone down onthe employee. (sometimes in the middle of the conversation) Calls the female employees and customers b_tches. Starts rumors and plays employees against each other. This is a workplace Bully that needs help and alot of it. To confirm to others this is a sport to a Bully, it most definitely is for this one. HR has been contacted many times, yet it is a continual situation.

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  17. I was recently terminated from my position (no reason given) as a social worker in the medical field. After looking into this subject, I was amazed to see how many people experience this type of abuse. I don’t feel so alone.I endured bullying from my direct supervisor for the past 3 years hoping one day it would stop. Unfortunately, two other co-workers were given the green light to treat me in the same manner. So when one wasn’t the other two would step in…being bullied on a daily basis. I guess I never thought I could be fired by the stupidity and incompetence of their behaviors. I reported to HR on a regular basis (considered the snitch). Over the past 2 years, I kept notes of who, what, when, and where these situations would occur. I also tape recorded the abuse in one of those situations that lasted for 3 hours straight with all 3 bullies (without their knowledge) yelling and screaming at me. I’m a fighter and will not put up with such crap!! Interestingly though, I was written up for many things including going to the ER for chest pains with my bully at my side at the ER (go figure)! I have always stood up to him and confronted him with his negative behaviors. I will not sit quietly and will fight them to the end! I am sure my unemployment benefits will be denied, but that’s ok, I will fight for that too! I will not stop until; they are stopped!! I will quit when I see I can go no further with this, even if that means going to legislation to help pass a bill to make bullying illegal and holding companies responsible for their managers actions and behaviors.
    Wish me luck!!

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    • It sounds like you have both the evidence and the determination to get something done! If you live in the United States, you may want to contact your state’s bully buster group for information and support. Best of Luck, ABC

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  18. I have suffered on-going work place bullying for 5 years now. This has been carried out by the’in-crowd’ and their boss. When the boss left one of then-crowd got promoted and the situation continues unchanged. I have a serious medical condition, but never tat time off work unless I am hospitalized. However I’m treated as lazy, incompetent, sly, two faced, etc. This is partly my own fault because I have tried to talk to colleagues about the bullying, and they have talked to each other. What a fool I am! But no more! Thanks to ABC I return from the Easter weekend equipped with strategies to handle the mobbing behaviours of my colleagues. Thank you ABC!
    So I was saddened to hear that you had been forced to resign. However, upon reflection, and reading the date of your post I actually write to congratulate you on the anniversary of your leaving your bully boss behind. You are obviously a talented and emotionally intelligent person, and I’m sure you have a career ahead of you in either writing, counselling or educating others about bullying. I wish you the success and happiness you deserve, and thank you for your gift of this fantastic web- site, kindest regards, T

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  19. Dear Tracy,
    I hope that any strategies I have shared on this website help you, as they did for me. At first, some of the strategies worked so well, I thought I could actually beat the insanity. I was wrong! Believing I could hang on, until my bully boss eventually retired, was my biggest mistake! Once a bully always a bully and once targeted by a bully, always a target of that bully. A bully may back off for an easier target for awhile, but you’ll always be vulnerable. I hope you don’t make the same mistake I did. I too, have a serious medical problem. Being a nurse, I should have realized that the chronic stress that bullying/mobbing exacts, takes it’s toll. But I stubbornly refused to accept the wise advice of other targets and anti-bullying activists before me, to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. As a result, my health is beyond repair and my husband suffered a serious stroke as well. We are both disabled in our fifties. I strongly advise that any strategies be used short term, your primary strategy being to find a better way to make a living, even if on disability. Your health is the most valuable thing this life has to offer. Don’t waste it on a bully, move on to a better life, while you still have a functional level of health to enjoy for yourself and your family. Thanks for your well wishes, as far as success goes, I feel successful whenever I talk another target into leaving their abusive job! God Bless you, ABC

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  20. Wow, thank you for your quick response! I’m saddened to hear of your on-going health problems, and those of your husband. You certainly did have a lucky escape!
    I totally agree with what you say, and have a plan in place which involves setting up my own business here in the UK. I am pretty sure I can make it pay, and will run it alongside my paid job for another year. I’m now medicated for stress from my wonderfully sympathetic doctor, so am aiming to stay in my job for one more full school year. Yes I’m a teacher, another member of the so called caring professions. My doc has documented everything, and I intend to go for constructive dismissal.
    In the meantime, thank you once again; your site gives me strength and courage! Tracy

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  21. Hello,

    I found this site while browsing for workplace bullying recovery strategies and found this website. I am glad I found it because it shows me that I’m not alone in the feelings I had while going through this; I am also shocked and horrified at the number of instances I have read about similar experiences. I suspect that this has only increased as the recession hit and budgets got it.

    I have been in the recovery process now for seven months and I still get flashbacks from my traumatic experience. I go to job interviews and I see my last manager across the desk and it triggers the old fears and angers. I then go into a spiral and get mad all over again. It takes me a few hours to calm down and rationalize that what is done is done and that I have to move forward. However, some days are worse than others in trying to deal with something like this.

    Since I left, I have focused on taking care of my health. I have built a very good lifestyle where I work out everyday, I eat properly, sleep great and have lost over 25 lbs over the past seven months. I really didn’t realize how sick I was at the time and it horrifies me how long I put up with that situation. Physically, I am in the best shape of my life at the moment. Mentally, I still have a ways to go in the recovery process and I hope sites like this can help in the recovery process.

    But you know what else haunts me still? The fact that bosses like the one I left behind could be lining up another target, that there are people out there who are stuck in situations like this because of financial or family commitments who cannot just pick up and leave. This is the untold costs of this recession and it will have significant costs on the economy in the years ahead. If this is prevalent, the economic and social costs are going to be tremendous in the years ahead.

    Like

  22. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.

    Like

  23. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too wonderful. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is really a great site.

    Like

  24. This has to be the best cathartic location on the internet for ‘The Workplace Bullied’. And I’m so pleased to have found it. Now I know – I AM NOT ALONE.

    Thank God.

    We all have different, but similar circumstances and experience and although many of the recommendations are perfectly valid, often many of us will carry on being bullied for our own reasons.

    For me, despite being systematically bullied by my boss; despite having empathy from peers and sympathy from my direct reports and despite HR ‘unoficially’ knowing all that is going on, I am stuck in this situation for months to come. As the sole wage-earner in the family we are dependent on my income from this job. I haven’t been in role long enough to build sufficient credibility in the organisation but my boss has been here 6 years and has a track record of delivering.

    We work in the financial services and travel sector. He’s a strong analyst from an engineering background and prefers working with analysts and engineers. His focus is cost reengineering first and customer quality next. I have a Sales & Marketing background. I’m people and process oriented and tend to look at the customer impact first and how we can achieve cost savings on top of that.

    He has told me he doesn’t see value in people like me, he would never have employed me if he’d been interviewing and if he had his way I wouldn’t work for him at all. Unfortunately for him, I deliver to all of my goals and objectives.

    So now, because I haven’t taken the not so subtle hint and resigned (I have to be with the company for 18 months before I can request an internal move and I’ve only been in role 10 months) he is increasingly using subtle bullying tactics to ‘manage me out’. He deliberately omits me from key meetings and distributions; he constantly changes the goalposts in pieces of work; creates additional deliverables that suddenly need to be completed at end of day and be available first thing tomorrow; starts every conversation with, “I’m going to have to say this to you in simple terms so that I know you’ve understood”… and when I’m not around creates confusion in my direct reports by giving them tasks to deliver for him so that things they are working on for me that I have to deliver for him get delayed and he can criticise me for late or non delivery… all of his direct bullying he does verbally in our daily one to one’s, so no witnesses.

    I get in the office at 07:30 and leave around 19:30. Most evenings I’m working at home on conference calls. We had my mid-year review in July. I prepared, wrote my self-assessment, solicited 360 feedback (positive all) and went in to the meeting. He ignored my self assessment and spent the hour lecturing me on the great team he had in the US before he moved over to UK to lead me and my team. Told me he started with high expectations of me and I hadn’t lived up to them. Told me I’m on course for poor end of year review…

    My confidence is shot to pieces, my team tell me I’m making mistakes, I’ve started to dread going in to work, I’m not sleeping well, and I’m becoming paranoid…

    And I do not have the option of walking out. Really, I don’t.

    Like

  25. These are the longest comments in the history of the world!

    Like

  26. All,
    I have been target of the tactics of perverted, abusive and pathological, ‘supervisors,’ and workplace aggression for the past 5 years. Their repeated vicious, malicious, Draconian tactics have included, but are not limited to, verbal abuse, lies, intimidation, demeaning non-verbal communication, isolating me in another building, taking away my work, telling co-workers not to speak to me, telling me not to speak to co-workers, plagiarizing my work, only criticizing my work and person, and projecting all of their dark sides on me. I have aimed to educated myself about this phenomenon and seek blogs, like this one, to understand and confirm what has happened. While I am relieved to know, ‘it is not me,’ I, too, like many of you, suffer, and will continue to suffer even after separation. Our families suffer, too. It’s very difficult to find therapists who understand and are knowledgeable about bullying/mobbing. There are no support groups in my area for this. Online blogs, like this seem to be one of the few ways to ‘connect’ and get support with and from other targets. And, for that, I am very grateful. I have found reading Stalking the Soul by Marie France Hirigoyen very useful (she does not blame the target!) for understanding what abusers do, and how and why they do it. I will also say that I think the root cause for all the suffering targets endure at the hands of abuser/supervisors is abuse in the supervisor’s childhood (which is not an excuse). To better understanding this, I have found the writings of Alice MIller very illuminating. Like many of you, I too, struggle day to day. I try to do something meaningful (drawing, writing, reading), pray/meditate, cook something interesting, and take care of my family. I usually go through a variety of stages: 1) waking up and feeling like I am sliding down a mountain and dreading get out of bed; 2) having coffee, writing, reading and feeling ok and occupied; 3) later, obsessing with my situation, what if, could haves,tape replays of events; 4) stopping negative self-talk and blame, 5) meditating, walking, feeling anger, disbelief; 6) feeling utter relief that I am separating in a few short weeks from this abusive work environment through retirement; 7) looking forward to bed and sleep so I don’t have to be in emotional pain for 8 hours. Already experiencing the panic of a slow erosion of my professional identity, I do not know what the final separation will do, or how it will all work out, and how I will feel. I imagine the roller coaster emotions will take time to work out. But I do believe that maybe I have been given the unique and difficult work in this lifetime to once and for all confront evil, examine it closely, understand it, and break the cycle of it in my life, and for future lifetimes. Peace, Namaste, and blessings to all of you in your struggles, healing and recovery and know you have done your best under some very, very difficult circumstances. S

    Like

  27. What goes on with some of these companys is low and shocking. Especially the large companys. And the bullying in hospitals etc. What a way Bunnings decided to go with Bullying in the work place. Was amazed at the dishonesty of the Managers involved!

    Like

  28. Thank you for creating this blog. It’s been two years since I was dismissed by a horrible bully boss…and I’m still devastated by the effects. As a result of my experiences, I was refused unemployment compensation, experienced flashbacks in subsequent workplaces, had several psychotic breaks and suicide attempts, and I still cannot face the thought of a traditional workplace. My experiences nearly destroyed my marriage and have left me feeling isolated and worthless. The mental health profession, while efficient at crisis intervention, has been unwilling/unable to address the effects of a toxic work environment on my ability to exist in the world.

    I used to be positive, creative, motvated, and professional, always seeking ways to empower others to be their best selves, personally and professionally. Now, I avoid much interaction with others. I pray for the day when experiences like mine are unheard-of, and that all employees are treated with dignity and respect.

    Like

  29. where can one get help, walked away from job and now filed a appeal for unemployment but they are 16 weeks away should i get legal help in new jersey

    Like

  30. I’m sorry this isn’t a reply to James, but Ijust found this website and am writing for help. I worked in a small office, 7 employees, for eight months.
    When I was hired I was told there had been problems with gossip/animosity but that they(the office manager) felt it had been resolved. It hadn’t, and the girl I worked closest with ended up being the one being bullied if you will.
    She told me to beware of the office and staff, that if they found something they didn’t like about you they’d pick on you til you quit. There had been others that left for this reason.
    She told me that the girls up front had something on the doctor and that he had no control over what went on. He was very nice though. I figured I could make a positive change.
    After a couple of months the girl I worked said, “Doctor must have talked to them because they’re being nice to me.” Then the tables turned. I was ignored, talked/gossipped about, and isolated from the rest of the staff. I became afraid of them, constantly worried about what was going to happen next I was confused and didn’t know what I had done wrong. I began being blamed for things missing. I spoke with the girl I worked closely with and told her I just wanted a good working relationship. I asked her how I could improve myself to better the situation. I also asked one of the girls up front that was the main bully.
    Finally I went to the office manager and told her I didn’t know why but that I was not fitting in (I was giving my notice). She told me that some people in the office had quirky personalities, that I was doing a good job and to hang in there. I decided to stay,and made suggestions on how we might be able to work better as a team, ex. monthly office meetings..
    But unfortunately things got worse. On a Monday six weeks after talking to the OM, I made a mistake in the shcedule and went to fix it.
    The doctor said that it would work out, we would just rearrange things. I told the girl up front what I had done, that I was going to fix it but Dr. said it would work. She was mad and let me know it. I began shaking(again) and could no longer concentrate, I shut down.
    After the patients left I told the doctor I could not do this anymore, that this was crazy!
    I discussed with him all that had gone on and he said, “I know, and I’ve felt so bad for you.”
    I asked him why he felt bad and he said that he knew it was going on but he didn’t know what to do about it. I was like, “really?”
    He asked me to give 2 weeks notice, which I told him I would only on the condition that he not discuss this until after I left because it would make work unbearable. He agreed, let me go home for the day and said he would call me at 5 to let me know if he would need me to give 2 weeks. He did call and said they would manage the schedule and that I didn’t have to return.
    He said he’d give me a good recommendation b/c I was a good worker. I told him that I knew he would but it’s the front that takes the calls. So here I am one month later, 12:40pm in my robe still. I have never experienced this ever. I am so sad, depressed, and confused. I don’t know what to do, how do you explain being bullied?
    I’m 47 and have a family that depends on my income. I have to work and would do anything.

    Like

  31. I don’t usually respond to on-line commentary but I was so disturbed by the last posting- written by a 47 year old woman- I felt I needed to say something- Please do not let this last work situation destroy your sense of self worth-You obviously have excellent job skills and a good work ethic-

    You need to get changed- go out for a walk and reconnect with nature-breathe deep-stretch- and push out all this negative stuff. You need to get a plan- write down steps that are easy to achieve and then work toward the bigger stuff- Spend a moment at the end of the day to write down the good stuff.

    Bottom line-what do you want in life?

    Like

    • good advice. I too am struggling with the aftermath of workplace mobbing. It’s devastating and slow to bounce back from… I need people to support me and help me pick myself up from this experience.

      Like

  32. Yes this is true it just happened to me last December 30,2011 my boss
    told me that my salary is not compensating with my work. Because when my co-worker got sick I cover some of her job so I am having a hard time then I 2 months 1 week working with them. It’s so sad why this people doing to us so that we can not file EDD so they just take advantage.

    Like

    • Three months ago, I left my resume at a Prominent Surgeons Office. I wanted to apply to work in the Hand Therapy Department. I was so excited when they called and asked for an interview. As it turned out the Supervisor told me they were not hiring in the O.T. Department, instead he offered me a job as a tech. (I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant.) He said, you won’t be able to do any “hands on or manual therapy.” I agreed to try it even though the salary was 1/3 of my usual therapy. I was excited to work in the office of a Dr that so many people had high regards for….Unfortunately the “other techs,” didn’t want me in their Department from the get go. I thought I heard rude and degrading comments about me, to each other and the patients. I didn’t pay attention and tried to learn, even though it was completely different than anything that I did in the past. One type of therapy can be completely different from another. After a couple of months I felt I was doing better and two of the Therapists were supportive, saying you’ve got it! One day last week a Therapist said that the other techs were up in the break room ridiculing me and complaining about me to the other staff members.She and another therapist reported them and went to H.R. Unfortunately that didn’t help, it made matters worse. The Supervisors that hired me took me in a room and told me that the other techs have been complaining about me and my speed. If I couldn’t step it up in one week and if the techs didn’t quit complaining about me…(which they wouldn’t because they wouldn’t want me there.) They would have to “ask me to leave.” I told them that as bad as things have gotten with the other techs ridiculing me, I would be relieved if they asked me to leave. One supervisor said, “OK, then we are asking you to leave.” So I left. It turns out the cheif complaint was that I ‘act more like a therapist than a tech.”

      Like

  33. It happened to me too – the unbelievable & I am a very competent person & was made out to be the crazy one & after working so hard through so much schooling & experience they took it all away! I understand & it is the worst feeling to be the only one to know what happened to you & no one to believe you!

    Like

  34. Something needs to be done about workplace bullying, it is abuse worst than physical abuse. They do it because they can & no one stops them & it is destroying our nation yet alone the health of individuals suffereing this inhuman abuse that no one would believe is possible by such deceitful ruthless beings.

    Like

    • I just started another job and after five days, the bullying started. Prior to going into the building, I said hello to two employees who were outdoors. They both looked at me like I was a statue. Little did I realize, they worked behind me in my department. From the get go they took a dislike to me. After two days, I caught on very quickly and I gather they felt threatened by this. The fifth day, they complained to my manager I am not catching on. The manager of course was friends with them and took their word and out the door I was. I am absolutely disgusted that companies are allowing employees whom are my equal to bully and have tremendous power in regards to who stays and who goes. It’s the women in the office who are rude, mean and yes they have deep rooted issues, yet it’s the company who continue to allow this to occur. It appears I intimidate them as I take my responsibilities seriously and don’t screw around and text. I catch on very quickly and sure enough the bullying begins. I blame the lack of integrity and the lack of professionalism. They don’t exist anymore!

      Like

  35. I lost a six digit job after working so hard to get to that position throught experience & attaining a CPA to 2 women without any college education who master manipulated men by their charm & deceit over jealousy to get rid of me because they couldn’t stand to see me have what I worked & earned to get & terrorized me every day & turned it all around on me once I try to stand up for myself & kept saying it’s who you know, not what you know, & I was the one to go! Guess it’s there loss, but the damage is so far deep & unless you’ve been through this you won’t understand the isolation, humiliation, & most unlawful thing to occur! Something needs to be done to stop these immature women & there needs to be law to stop unlawful termination of good, competeent employees to jealous, incompetent women!

    Like

    • i went through it to

      Like

    • I would love to start a rally somehow because I agree this needs to stop. It is unconstitutional to allow jealous, intimidated women to take our right away to earn a living because they can’t handle the competition. I don’t go to work to make friends, I go to do a job so I can get paid and be independent to support myself and my family,

      Like

    • I totally understand where you are coming from. It all comes down to jealousy and unfortunately those that suffer are good competent workers. I wish employers will take bullying more seriously

      Like

  36. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your
    further post thank you once again.

    Like

    • I am told I need to learn to play the game – I don’t know how to play in that atmosphere and once again need to pick up the pieces and start looking.

      Like

  37. I am going through this horrific time at the moment, I am also a nurse and my line manager is and always has been a bully having seen off many a good nurse she has now put her attention onto me, I have been off sick because of this woman for 4 months now i am desparately looking for another job as i know in my heart i can never return there, I have suffered panick attacks, sleeplesness, stress and extreme anxiety, I did report it to the hospital manager but low and behold she has taken the side of the bully!!
    I feel sick most of the time and the effect on my mental health is worrying me.

    Like

    • i went threw it several times and smoke cigs and worry and I used to be in great shape, I lost my house and now can’t find a job and will probably get a divorce cause no one respects me now. life sucks its like living in Russia today.

      Like

  38. It does happen. I was in a “good old boys” industry and was the only female in the office. I was the whole support of billing, receivables, payables, inventory recs, bank recs, the whole bit. It was good until they hired a sales manager who got a big head and was literally calling me “a f***ing bi**ch. A f***ing psycho, He would use the F word until it just pounded my brain. I asked him sarcastically, “Do you think you could say the F work just one more time’? He replied, “Yeah, F-You, how’s that”? I finally just got up in his face and really kind of lost it. I was quite literally ready to punch his face. I was finally let go because I couldn’t get along with him. BUT>>>>>>> now I have a job that love and have had it for quite some time. A WORD OF ADVICE…Once you to get to move on to another job it is like leaving an abusive marriage. You don’t really know how bad it was until you aren’t there anybmore. babsb The new job feels wonderful!!!!!

    Like

    • So how do you frame this situation into a positive light in order to get a job? how do you explain that you were fired because a bully made you a target and lied about you to get you fired? to a new employer. Oh and KARMA is true. this boss shoved another employee (because she was able to get away with lying to get someone fired. and years and years of bulling) and is now unemployed!!!!

      Like

  39. Hey there.

    So glad I read your post. I too have been bullied and lost my job because of it. It’s good to know I’m not the only one that has gone through this but it’s shameful bullying in the workplace is more common than you think. I also find that unless you go through it no one really understands what it’s like. It’s hard to get support when people just give you a blank look and say ” why don’t you just get another job?” I want to yell and tell them I actually haven’t done anything wrong so why should I leave?

    My bullying was a direct result in me getting very sick. I ended up having to leave work early and go to the emergency ward with serve kidney pain. After a few hours in the hospital I was told I had a Tumor in my neck and not only required surgery but i was critically ill. I phoned my boss and was told that I had to return to work ASAP as no one could cover my shift. That was just the start of my nightmare. I went in for surgery and unfortunately is failed as they went in on the wrong side of my neck. which was very stressful to say the least. Even though I had a doctors certificate for 2 weeks I was bullied back to work a few days after surgery. I had a huge scar on my neck and when I turned up to work was told it looked horrible and I was to cover it up. I needed a second surgery and because I was so sick I had to visit the hospital ever week to get blood tests and to get drugs pumped into me to control my sickness. I had explained to the bully that I needed to do this and would leave early and not take my lunch break on Thursdays as It was my early day and I could make it to the hospital before the unit I was being treated in closed. She agreed. However every Thursday she would come into my store so I couldn’t leave on time or call me and tell me I had to stay until she got there. She was essentially blocking me from receiving life saving medication. I had to get my doctor to write a note explaining the seriousness of the siruation. the letter got ignored. After the second operation which was successful I ended up with serve complication and had to be rushed back into emergency because I couldn’t walk. Again I was bullied back to work after a few days. At this point I was exhausted and applied for leave. I got denied because I was overlapping with another manager in another store by 1 day. I pointed out that it was not written in the policy manual. I was then told I wouldn’t get paid for my leave because the company was in adminstration even though the bully was on leave. After saying I was going to check with hr she said I could get paid. I told her I would take the following week off which she agreed to. I ended up with more complications from the illness and called in sick the week I originally wanted to have leave on. I was told they needed a doctors certificate which I emailed them. 2 days later I got made redundent. No one else in my store did and neither did anyone else that was on a higher wage than me. I believe it was the bully getting her revenge for me questioning her.

    Let me say I was extremely horrified and shocked. I worked my guts out for this company and not had any sick days unless I was in hospital and kept all hospital appointments on my time not work time. Not to mention did overtime as well. All this while critically ill and had failed surgery.

    I wandered around in disbelief that I let them bully me and couldn’t understand how this could of happened. I was so ill and also due to the illness suffering serve depression. I was so vunerable. I could barely function. I was ashamed I let this happen.

    What I have learnt is that my bully boss was a bully because she was absolutely incompetent at her job. I put in a complaint with fair work and claimed unfair dismissel but nothing happened. Where is the justice I wonder. Bullies unfortunately seem to come out best in these situations.

    I’m still recovering from my sickness and from being bullied. I can’t bring myself to get another job just yet and I haven’t been given my redundency payout so I’m burning through my savings I worked so hard for. I feel like I’m the one being punished.

    Silver lingings?? I got made redundant from a nightmare job and slowly getting my mental health and physical health back. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy and I hope I get my payout soon unless of course they say they can’t afford to pay their staff out. Doesn’t feel much of a silver lining to be honest though…

    I’m not going to lie but I used to hope my bully gets run over by a bus. Not a nice thing to say. However I know she has a husband she hates, and child she doesn’t want, spends a crapload of Botox and fillers and is completely imcoptemet at her job. Maybe that’s her karma? I sincerely doubt she is happy…not that it excuses any of her behaviour I might add.

    Good luck to everyone out there and I hope none of you have to go through what I did.

    Like

    • There have been many jobs too many in fact that this continues to go on, fortunately, I believe in karma and the funny thing, I always get wind of it.

      Like

  40. Sounds like they did you a huge favor. Why would you ever want to work in that miserable place for those miserable people?

    Like

  41. Prior to working with this state government organisation, my career was good and so is my resume but since I resigned due to this bullying incident I have this gap – what makes things worst is that no one believe you, people side with the organisation and now negative perception is inserted into your future prospective employers.

    They make people around you feed you crap, making excuses for the bully’s behaviour – at the end of the day they just don’t want to admit it to protect the organisation’s reputation.

    They are so subtle, manipulative, and controlling – all they care is them, their career, and their reputation.

    Like

  42. Gosh just stumbled upon this.
    I have lost my job too through bullying. I am so frightened to even apply for another one in case it happens again. For two and a half years my new bosses proceeded to wear me down. Telling that my performance had slipped from a 1/2 to a 4. Without any warning. I battled on to improve my performance and got back to a 2 with aspects of 1 and looking at others I knew I was always at that level. As soon as that had finished they started following me round. I had a weird sense that something was going on behind my back and it was. They collected comments about things that I had done and re wrote them to make me sound bad. I couldn’t believe what came out of my boss’s mouth HR told me I was Paranoid. Unions did back me.
    I wanted to jump off a bridge.
    These people are paid big bucks and keep their jobs. I was honest and worked hard and lost mine. Where is the sense in this?

    Like

  43. i am in a similar situation, at office bullies impose impossible repeated deadlines to burn and overstress you, and manufacture documentation to smear your character, then force you out leaving you jobless unemployed after slavery to death to pump high value for the employer with your credit and name trashed. then you are angry and upset while it is difficult to seek help from colleagues who shy away or gather evidence without authorization, and your unsympathetic family puts you onto psychiatrist medication labeling you as a patient while the medications don’t seem to make your mind clearer or smarter, but rather slower, more clouded or unstable or forgetful. if you challenge the advice of your psychiatrist and say the other psychiatrist told me I don’t need to take medication, he argues that is because I am already getting better on his drugs. if I say my mind becomes unstable and hands shake uncontrollably which didn’t happen before I ever took the drugs, he argues it is because I have problems and need to take the drugs instead of admitting that the drugs are causing me problems.

    Like

  44. Reblogged this on Citizens, not serfs.

    Like

  45. I`m also had this, it`s really hurtful, she broke my confidence as I`m not competent enough for work, while she gave me lots of work load and she let me do her job while she doing her own business (not the company business but her own!) and also she try to criticize about my personal life and showing that she has a perfect life. It really break me as a person, as if I`m not worth it enough, and it reflected to my health, which i had chronic kidney. for those whoever have this, stop the bully, fight the bos, if you already do what you can, and you feel want to give up, its ok! Its only a job, you gonna have something better , sooner or later!It`s not even worth it to giving up your total life just for WORK! I tell you, never ever worth it to sacrifice your life just for a job! and always remember you are not alone, pray also will Help you! and please share the bully things to someone you feel comfortable enough to talk to, dont keep it for yourself! Just be Brave!

    Like

  46. I worked for a company that claimed to be the best employer in the world by Stat. The big American M… The HR department conveniently selected to believe my bully bosses story of lies rather than my own. I did the right thing – paid for a lawyer and made an official complaint. The company told me to work from home and overloaded me with excessive work to try to get me to leave. I bore full costs of the legal fees took no action beyond a complaint to help protect my peers from the bully. The company gave me a letter saying that they could not reference for me but anyone could contact HR about my work. The bully was not blocked from talking to prospective employers. I found the entire process unsupportive. The company aided with the bully and not honest me. As a victim you can only go through he’ll and back while you do what you think is right. I have just started a new job after an 8 month break. I was physically exhausted after being refused vacation after working a 70 hour week for 13 months. The bully held me back after work for 2-3 hour meetings whilst he gruel led me over and over with the same silly points that were deliberately intended to make me feel angry and lash out — which I did not. He said he wanted sex in my performance review. He came into the female bathroom after 5pm andtold me he wanted to see my chest. This man is a vicious twisted and sick creep that should have lost his job. I feel for the other women and people in the team that get subjected to his bullying and power trips each day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Sonya for doing your best to protect others from this monster of a boss! Your comment leaves me wondering why you didn’t sue him or the company for “workplace sexual harassment”, which after years of media attention, is now considered a valid legal complaint against employers. And is now frowned on from all perspectives, as the disgusting thing that it really is, in the USA. Also, was your legal complaint to help protect your peers from the bully, enforced in anyway? You are emotionally tougher than most! I always have a problem with the NOT lashing out part! Thanks again, ABC

      Like

  47. I had this very experience multiple times. I am a microbiologist and a registered nurse. I love to work as a case manager for advantage program which is under Medicaid. I am qualified and 28th experience. Yet workplace bully destroy my career once and for all. Even a coworker who is a bipolar kept the same job till retired but labeled me as mentally ill. No councelar acknowledge the work bullying. Now I am afraid of any job . I have ptsd symptoms of my bullied experience. I am recovering from a cat accident and will end up in a homeless shelter. I gave been there once being bullied and quit before. So I do Have empathy for you.

    Like

  48. I want to say your words meant something to me. I find it’s difficult to get mental health help unless you are incapacitated. My struggles are linked to my desire to find answers. Mostly I find I know the answer but in order to trust myself, I seek outside help. In the end, I need to know myself. Life is hard if you are different. Hope you found peace and happiness.

    Like

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