Negative Comment From Reader, Example of Bullying. By ABC


Comment From Theo Dated 4-9-13
Regarding post;  Schadenfreude a Bully’s Satisfaction. By, ABC

“I used to be able to find good information from your blog articles.”

Reply from ABC;

Hey Theo,
What’s up with the negativity – “used to” ? What’s that suppose to mean? (no pun intended). I welcome BOTH positive and negative comments when they are edifying. Negativity, without the specifics of your perspective, leaves nothing to consider, reply to, or learn from. Negative comments void of substance, are meant to hurt, not help. THIS IS BULLYING BEHAVIOR! But, I will not delete your comment, nor this response, because there is something to learn here.

Dear readers, Take a look at Theo’s comment above. It’s not all that bad really, but it is a perfect example, of what a bully might say to a target. Subtle comments like this, will often go unnoticed by others, as bullying. It was so short, it could have been a joke, who knows, bystanders think, as they put it out of their minds. But the target knows, it was meant to hurt!

Don’t worry though Theo, being the fair-minded person that I am, I wouldn’t call anyone a bully over one comment, but it is important for readers to know, that a comment such as yours, is a red flag. Once a red flag comment is made in the workplace, it’s important to listen carefully to that person’s comments from that point forward, for more red flags.
Once you’ve determined that there are enough red flags which warrant concern, meet with the person in private and ask them the meaning of the comments that were made. Now, this is the good part readers; Their response, will reveal if they are a real bully, meaning they have a level of psychopathy (also referred to as sociopathy) or not.

A bully will NEVER admit that comments were meant to hurt and will never make a sincere apology. Instead, they may suggest that it is your perspective or emotional state, that is at issue. BE PREPARED IN ADVANCE, NOT TO RESPOND AT ALL, TO ANYTHING NEGATIVE THAT THE BULLY MAY SAY – just listen.

If this is happening in a workplace, ask the person if they have any concerns about your performance on the job. AGAIN, JUST LISTEN, DO NOT RESPOND! A real bully may deny any performance issues at all, again suggesting a problem with your perceptions or emotions. This is often the response at the beginning of a bullying campaign.

Later in a bullying campaign, this same question may elicit vague comments or twisted stories about your relationships with others, mannerisms, and/or trivial fault-finding. A real bully, rarely, if ever, has substantial negative feedback related to the bottom-line of your employment, which is the quantity and quality of expected duties and responsibilities, as outlined in a job description, because there aren’t any.

Remember, real bullies, with a level of psychopathy, are threatened by people whose abilities exceed their own. They have no real issues with your job performance, except their fear that others will make this same comparison. Responses may seem cooperative at first, but you will never be able to work things out with a real bully, whose only real desire is to take you out.

Now back to Theo; I have responded to Theo’s comment on this web site, which is what you’re reading. I also sent this reply to his email account to be sure it’s received. (Don’t worry Theo your email address is hidden to other readers). If Theo never responds, or offers substance to his comment, it is very likely, that Theo is a bully.

Let’s wait and see together! ABC
See ABC’s Comment Policy Page.  A part of this policy is quoted below;
“Bullying behavior is not permitted on this web-site. I will delete, WITH explanation, any comment content, that reflects the behavior of a bully. Examples include, but are not limited to; name calling, prejudicial statements, hatefulness, and disrespectful statements. Offensive words, phrases and sentences will be hashed-out, with explanation. Suggestions regarding how the intended content or ideas could have been shared in a more edifying way, will be made.”

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4 Responses

  1. I don’t necessarily take the comment to be bullying. It actually sounds like a blanket comment that could mean many things. The person is bored, they need to do something besides sit at the computer and look at blogs, they have no clue how bullying affects others because they have not experienced it, they don’t care about it, the list goes on. Disagreeing with something or expressing an opinion in a respectful way is not bullying. Check workplacebullying.org and learn about what bullying really is. It is important to guard against letting emotions get the best of you. That is what triggers bullies. This person was not bullying you, just expressing an opinion.

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  2. Quoted from your comment;
    “Disagreeing with something or expressing an opinion in a respectful way is not bullying.”

    I AGREE with your statement quoted above, but, as quoted from my original article: “Negativity, without the specifics of your perspective, leaves nothing to consider, reply to, or learn from. Negative comments void of substance, are meant to hurt, not help. THIS IS BULLYING BEHAVIOR!” Thank you for your comment, ABC

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  3. Hello, ABC, i have been to your site, before, when i ahd my first major bullying issue in 2009, i was forced out, and luckily got unemployment, and 6 months later that manager was taken out of her position, after i prayed about it, but i don’t know what happened to her, i can’t tell if she is in litigation with the company or what, it doesnt seem like she was transferred to another store, but people in the store that she worked in won’t even mention her name, they ll act secretive, and are not allowed to bring up the bully. What do you think may have happened? She claims on a website to still be working for the company but she definitely is not in that store anymore or any other store. Also since then, i ahve been going through bullying over nad over, i either get fired or have to quit, i dont know what to do anymore, it has caused me to be homeless and depressed, you say its spiritual warfare, but when does it end. I never have help to deal with the issue. Is the fact that its spiritual warfare, why i can’t understand what’s going on when it’s happening? Like with one job it came out of nowhere, and i still don’t understand why it was happening, or what teh problem was or who was even actually causing the problem. Now it’s happening in this job, and it’s one thing to go through bullying it’s another to not be able to support yourself. If this is about spritual warfare, then what happens in the end? What happened to saint bernadette after her 11 years of bullying, i don’t understand what i’m supposed to be doing during this time, it so confusing. People have told me to go to church, is that it, is that the answer?

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  4. Dear anonymous,
    I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. The answers to your questions are complicated but good IF you choose to react in a good way rather than a bad way.

    It truly is a war of good versus evil or in other words, a war of God versus Satan. I have come to believe, that if you are being tested by bullying over and over again, that God is allowing it so that you can develop the characteristics needed to be accepted into the body of Christ. This means, at the end of time, you will enjoy Christ’s promises of immortality in the Kingdom of Heaven despite the difficulties you experienced here in this life. This is what happened to St. Bernadette!

    My next web site will be about the “end times” which I believe we are now in, and what we should do and watch for during this time.

    Every thing you wrote, about your confusion and not understanding, is predicted in the Bible. So what you need to do, is to gain that understanding. Read the Bible, meditate and pray. Ask God to reveal himself to you through his Holy Spirit and ask him what you should do
    during every bullying incident you experience.

    In regards to church, go to one if you find one that teaches biblical principles, but be careful, many churches have strayed from God’s word, and are corrupted by evil. It’s a known fact that there is a high incidence of Adult bullying within church administrations and members. Keep God in mind ALWAYS! Here’s a song you have to hear –

    “Blessings” by Laura Story – Link below

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Blessings+Laura+Story+Download+Free&FORM=RESTAB

    Start your meditation by hearing this song – it will make you cry, good
    tears, because God REALLY IS WITH YOU, despite it all! God Bless you, ABC

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