ABC’s Website Mentioned on Workrant.com By ABC


Dear readers,

One of the readers of this website left a comment saying that they mentioned my website on an anti-bullying website called “Workrant.com”.   There’s some really funny stuff that people write on this website that really lightens up the subject and will get you laughing your head off.   So if you are in the mood for a good laugh, click on the link below.  Scroll down to “Clarissa” to read the mention of this website.       ABC
http://www.workrant.com/

Bullyonline. Resource and Internet Support Group


Bullyonline – Resource and Internet Support Group From a British Perspective. By ABC

Bullyonline is the first anti-bullying Internet support group that I came across. They are also the largest information resource on work place bullying in the world. It was this web site that gave me the first glimmer of insight and hope about 5 years ago. Validation and empowerment is the mission of “The Field Foundation” located in the United Kingdom. Their beloved founder, Tim Field, is a pioneer in the fight against work place bullying. Their information site is one that I will never stop reading. With more studies on the phenomena, the information on this site grows and changes as information becomes available.  Here is the link to their information site;

Site is at http://www.bullyoffline.org

Being located in the United Kingdom, most members of their Internet support group live there. Discussion often pertains to how bullying is addressed by that country’s legal system. As the legal system in the United States doesn’t address bullying at all, this information does not pertain to those of us who live in the USA. It’s interesting to read however, like a sneak preview, of the kinds of problems and barriers anti-bullying activist will be faced with, as we work towards our own anti-bullying legislation. Surprisingly, at least to me, is their stories of the kinds of difficulties posters of this group have, obtaining justice, despite the existence of anti-bullying laws. Another thing that is interesting about this group is their perception of “emotional injury” which is quite different in the USA. Emotional injury sustained on the job, is considered as serious and painful, as a physical injury. They refer to “stress breakdowns”, which are grounds for immediate removal from the bully, for emergency evaluation and treatment. “Stress breakdowns” on the job are then followed by extended periods of paid leave from the job with an expectation that the employer has a “duty of care” to provide for a “safe environment” upon the employee’s return. If the employer is not willing or able to eliminate the bully, or otherwise separate the target from the bully, then the employer considers “constructive dismissal” of the target, with benefits and monetary compensation.

This perspective of the affect of emotional abuse is quite different here in the US. After one of my first emotional assaults by my current bully, I couldn’t stop crying. The only “care” I received, was being told by a Human Resource rep. to “go outside and take a walk”. I couldn’t even form words to respond to her. I just walked back to my desk in a daze.

So click on the link below to join bullyonline. Thank you bullyonline members for your support and perspective. Sincerely, ABC


Click to join bullyonline

Nineveh – Anti-bullying Internet Support Group


NINEVEH – Anti-bullying Internet Support Group

As most targets of work place bullying and mobbing in the United States, I had no one to talk to about it. Most people in the United States never heard of work place bullying and mobbing and would think an adult complaining of such issues as a trivial cry baby. Then I came across NINEVEH, a site sent from God. This is a Christian Anti-bullying group based in the United States, although any one, from any where, with work place bullying issues can become a member. Fellow targets post their stories, questions, thoughts and prayers which are responded to by other targets and the moderators of the group. I’ve never participated in an Internet group who had such intelligent, caring and helpful members and moderators. Responses to troubled new members offer compassionate validation, support and suggestions about taking more positive, Christian approaches. They suggest more spirtual alternatives to our natural instincts to “fight” the bully, while not pushing or preaching christianity. This group has given me the spiritual support I could find no where else and a replacement for the increasingly overwhelming anger. So if you’ve stumbled across my site looking for support with your problem of work place bullying and mobbing, you’re just one more click away from a level of compassionate, Christian support that only God can provide. JUST CLICK BELOW;

Thank You Nineveh, ABC


Click to join Nineveh

Badbossology.Com Publishes ABC’s articles


ABC’s articles’, “Tactics of a Workplace Serial Bully Boss” and “How to Stop Demanding, Rude Behavior of a Boss” has been published on Badbossology.com.. This Website will also be listed on their “Useful Sites” list.

Badbossology.com has a large readership and provides the latest news on bad bosses along with relevant resources to assist people in:

  • Understanding and analyzing their boss to develop an action plan
  • Protecting themselves safely
  • Reducing their boss’s power over them
  • Achieving career success in spite of their boss.

Being published on this site, and listed on their “Useful Sites” list, is just one more way to get the word out, about the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing.

Visit this site today to learn more. Let’s Recognize it, Name it, and End Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together! ABC-AntiBullyingCrusador

Self Growth.com – Visit This Site Today!


I recently submitted my websites and an article about work place bulltying and mobbing to Selfgrowth.com and have been accepted as a Selfgrowth.com “expert”. Please visit this website, a tremendous source of self growth information written by experts.

The #1 Self Improvement Site
On The Internet!
Over 1 Million Monthly Visitors

Joining SelfGrowth.com is just one more way to get the word out about workplace bullying and mobbing. It’s my hope that all working Americans will someday know to: Recognize it, Name it, and End Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together!

See my articles on this website at these links;

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Learn_About_Work_Place_Bully_And_Mobbing_Today.html

and

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Isolation_A_Bully_s_Most_Harmful_Weapon.html

What Is a Bullying Pass-by Nibble? Bullyblaster.com by Abbey Whitehall


PASS-BY NIBBLES

Comment by ABC

“Bullying Pass-by nibbles” are referred to several times in this weblog, especially in  “Chapter 5. Two Pass-by Nibbles, Then The Bullying Stopped!” See the article below to learn the origins and background of this phrase and the website associated with it. Visit the link to learn more about workplace bullying and mobbing.  Lets all learn to Recognize it, Name it, and End Workplace bullying and mobbing together! ABC

Click on image to go to The Bullyblaster site

What Is a Bullying Pass-by Nibble?

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What the heck is a “Pass-By Nibble?”, you’re wondering. It’s something that both sharks and bullies do before they go in for the kill. Both test their potential victims out first by gently taking a nibble. Sharks do it with their teeth. Bullies do it with off color remarks and other, very harmless sounding comments. Comments meant to see how far you’ll let them go before you’ll stop them. The tools are different, but the outcome, your demise, is the same.
Most survivors of gruesome shark attacks report that the animal took a gentle, “Pass by Nibble” to check them out before he returned the second time, barreling in for the kill. It’s almost like the shark evaluates what the potential victim will do, how much force to use, and if the victim-to-be is worth attacking. Who really knows what a shark thinks, but he is doing some form of information gathering. It’s exactly what the bully does.
Have you noticed this? Bullies start with not-so-mean comments and as time passes, they just get more cruel? Why does this always happen? It’s because you don’t stop them in the “Pass by Nibble” stage. It’s in this beginning stage of bullying, when the bully evaluates how easy a target you are, that it’s best to stop her too. Just like stopping a shark in his “Pass by Nibble” stage, stopping a bully could prevent you from further putdowns or slurs.
What does the bully do during a “Pass by Nibble”? She makes quick, ambiguous, possibly offensive remarks to you. But, also, she often uses subtle body language that crosses very subtle personal boundaries. Like standing too close to you. If you catch it and stop her early on, you have a great chance to set some ground rules for your future interactions, so you won’t have to endure more potent putdowns in the future.
Madeline showed off her beautiful new Gucci purse to Pat, a bully. That’s when Pat took her “Pass by Nibble.” As Madeline opened her purse wider for Pat to inspect, Pat pushed harder to “see” more. She handled the wallet and a gum wrapper ooohing and ahhhing at both, with exaggerated praise. She unzipped pockets, unsnapped buttons and dug deeper into private areas of the purse where it’s usually considered impolite to go. Madeline watched quietly, chuckling right along with Pat. She felt uncomfortable, but not enough to say anything.
And Pat watched closely as well. She made a mental note that Madeline was an easy target as she probed on. Madeline wouldn’t stop Pat from “invading” her purse, so invading and eroding Madeline’s self esteem would be her next move. At least that would be more damaging than this small stuff.
Two days later, Madeline helped a coworker in the next cubicle with a new computer program. Pat walked by.
“You’re listening to HER? THAT’S dangerous. She can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time,” Pat lobbed in, and then darted off. There it was. Pat came in for the kill.
Ouch, I didn’t deserve that, Madeline thinks. But she says nothing in response, hoping anyone else around wouldn’t notice what just happened. Why did Pat insult her? What did SHE do?
She allowed Pat to take a “Pass by Nibble” and get away with it. She didn’t stop Pat early in the purse invasion, when it would have been much easier to be light and un-invested. Now, it may take Madeline several encounters to convince Pat that she won’t
tolerate being pushed around. And Madeline will be much angrier.
What are some other ways bullies take a test nibble to see if you’ll stand up for yourself?
– They move your stuff, or put their stuff where yours once was.
– They physically move too close to you-even slightly bumping you.
– They retell a story about you in the 3rd person while you stand there.
– They take issue with many things you say.
These are just a teeny sample of many ways they use to test you. But you get the idea. You’ve probably experienced others, when you paid attention. You may even pay more attention, now that you realize what’s going on.
Know that people with no mal intent can also do all of the above, too. It’s so subtle. The only way you know the difference most of the time, is by watching what happens next. Does she amp up her attacks, going in for the kill? Or does she never bother you again? No wonder a bully can slide in mean-spirited remarks without being found out. It’s so easy to hide mean feelings behind an innocent appearance.
Okay. You know you need to say or do something in response, but what do you do? Because you really don’t know exactly when a bully is testing you, or when it’s just thoughtlessness, you need to respond as unharmed and un-invested as you can muster in the moment. Being light and humorous is the absolute best way to handle any bully attack even if it is just a “nibble.” And early on, with a mild “Pass by Nibble,” it’s a lot easier to do because you aren’t mad or offended yet. Neither of you carries a deep seated grudge at this point. Try feeling and acting unoffended after she’s
taken some mean swings at you. It’s much more ifficult.
Bullies are like sharks. Both are opportunistic and deadly. The dry land versions are harder to avoid. But, understanding a little more about how bullies size you up by testing you first, will give you a leg up on dealing with them … instead of a leg off.

About the Author – Abbey Whitehall

Stop Workplace Bullying. Discover How to Speak Up to Save Your Job and Your Dignity. Visit http://www.BullyBlaster.com and sign up for a free Stop the Bullies newsletter.

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8/6/08 Comment By ABC;

Recently there was some confusion regarding who the author is of the article “What is a Bullying Passby Nibble?” When I tranferred this article from my old website, the first paragraph and the Bullyblaster logo which goes along with this article, didn’t copy over which caused the confusion. I have since corrected that error. Please know that the original source of this article is from “Bully Blaster. com” by Abbey Whitehall who is also the author of the book “Bully Blaster” whch I promote on the right side bar of this weblog. I did write about my personal experiences with passby nibbles in “Chapter 5” of my “True Stories” series. I apologize for any confusion. Sincerely, ABC

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