St.Bernadette, Bullied by Serial Bully Boss. By ABC


St. Bernadette Soubirous of Lourdes.

St. Bernadette Soubirous of Lourdes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s been over three years since the loss of my job at the hands of a workplace serial bully boss, and her little mob of supporters. Without pause or doubt for a moment, I believe it to be the worst experience of my life. Most targets, and only targets, would agree with this perspective. A true understanding, only born out of actually experiencing this strange brand of hidden hatefulness, first hand.

Now disabled since the loss of my job, I’ve had adequate time to thoroughly review both my memories and the many documents that validate my experience, during the last years of my employment. It still, seems so unbelievable to me!

Having always been anchored by my Christian faith, I spent endless hours in prayer and meditation re-examine my own behaviors and motivations as well as trying to understand the perspectives of others involved. Throughout my recovery, I continued to be haunted by memories of people involved, who couldn’t believe that what I was saying, was real, despite having known me for years.

What was the bully doing, to make others believe her, over me? I finally came to a knowing, that although bullies (also called successful psychopaths) are truly experts at deception, it’s simply not logical to believe, that any one person, is capable, of so thoroughly changing the perceptions, and manipulating the behaviors, of so many people. Yet, they do, over and over again.

Successful psychopaths fool millions, like Hitler did, or thousands, like investors robbed by big business, or maybe just a few dozen, in a few hundred thousand work places, across the country. It happens all around us, all the time, but we never see it, when it’s happening, it’s only seen in retrospect.

I have come to believe, that there are some aspects of the bullying phenomenon, which are supernatural, and that it is, literally, spiritual warfare!

This all came together for me, after coming across an old *book I have about the life of my favorite saint, Saint Bernadette of Lourdes, and rereading it for the third time.

Saint Bernadette lived during the 19 Century and is most famously known for the healing springs at Lourdes, France. The site, where Bernadette experienced 18 apparitions of the Virgin Mary, during what was described, as “ecstasies”.

Extremely poor, illiterate and chronically ill, she was just 14 years old when our blessed mother revealed to her this healing spring where millions continue go, till this day, seeking healing from physical illnesses.

Although many spontaneous and unexplained cures do occur at the spring, most pilgrims are not cured of physical illness.  Instead, many come away spiritually renewed, gaining an inner knowing of how to suffer right.

The gift of the miraculously healing spring, is what most people remember most about Saint Bernadette’s story. What is not remembered, is Our Blessed Mother’s primary message for both prayers and penance, for the forgiveness and conversion of sinners, and how Bernadette, as an adult, was a perfect example of doing just that, despite a special type of challenge, that many of my readers can understand –

After the apparitions, Bernadette, lived on to serve God by entering a convent, where she not only vowed to a life of poverty, chastity and obedience, but as a bride of Christ. Through God the Father’s divine providence, she became a perfect example of how to share in the passion of Christ’s suffering, with joy!

Although it is well-known that Bernadette suffered horribly from asthma and tuberculosis since childhood, her physical suffering was not thought to be her heaviest cross to bear. Her road to sanctity, was surprisingly at the hands of what we now refer to, as a workplace serial bully boss! Really!

The bullying by Mother Marie-Therese Vauzou,  extended over a period of 11 years.  At first, in her role as Mistress of Novices, then later, as the Superior General of the order. This is a fact that even I didn’t notice, until looking into this favorite saint’s life for the third time.

This diminutive saint, never wanting to draw attention to her self, was later described as a “victim soul”, having endured what we now call “bullying” by a superior who emotionally abused Bernadette as well as several other subordinates throughout her many years as a leader of this convent. Mother Vauzou is described as arrogant and jealous of Bernadette, having been favored by God, over herself. She is a typical serial bully boss, described, as sharing all the usual attributes that bully bosses are known for.  She was a perpetrator of a type of emotional abuse that we now know goes unnoticed by most.  Perhaps that in its self, is the most important part of this story. How hidden, and unnoticed adult bullying really is.

During beatification testimonies, most everyone acknowledged observing the severity of her treatment as it occurred, but no one ever questioned it or tried to stop it, for reasons that no one was able to explain in retrospect.

Learning that my favorite Saint was a hidden target of a horrible bully boss confused me. Why would God allow that?  I found it impossible, to write the final lines of this article for publication until I knew the answer, why!

After months of further reading, I came to realize that every Saint I had ever read about, suffered both physical and mental pain. This came to an understanding, of why God might allow Bernadette to suffer such cruelty.

Bernadette, wanted more than anything else, to be a Saint. She was known to have said so, on several occasions. She strived for perfection, hoping to earn an eternity in heaven. Jesus Christ, was THAT WAY, the ONLY WAY.
Bernadette completely surrendered her will and soul, to Jesus and God the Father’s divine will. She came to learn to depend on Jesus, alone. Jesus was her all, only Jesus.

Jesus taught followers to expect suffering and persecution, if they were willing to give up every thing, to follow him. Although Bernadette had her fair share of physical suffering through disease, it was unlikely that she would ever experience persecution. Who, in a devotedly Catholic country, would persecute some one, believed to be a saint? Perhaps, the hand of God was involved.

I now realize that Bernadette knew this, and likely felt blessed, not vexed, like I did, when she was able to fully experience persecution at the hands of a bullying nun. This also explains, how Bernadette was so easily able to maintain her composure, never once seeming upset or angry, (like I did) when bullied. Instead, she always expressed gratefulness for her superior’s correction.

I now believe, that divine intervention is very much involved in the bullying and mobbing phenomenon. Looking at both my own experience and that of Bernadette’s, circumstances occurred in ways, that are just too unlikely to occur merely by coincidences. For example, who would think it possible, that a superior of a religious order, could be so cruel? 

I regularly read the Bible,which I call the magical book. It’s the only book, that teaches you something new, every time, you pick it up.  Since coming to understand the supernatural aspects of the bullying/mobbing Phenomenon, words I never noticed in the Bible before, now standout as examples. Have you ever noticed that the bible makes regular mention of God changing the perceptions of people? Such as, God closing peoples’ ears, eyes or minds, from hearing, seeing or understanding something? It stands out all the time to me now.

Now knowing,that God is very much involved, all my silly questions about the bullying and mobbing phenomenon have answers. Who’d have thought?

I know it’s been a long time since I last posted, but I now feel back on track. More articles will follow soon. There is so much more to learn, from Bernadette’s bullying story. So stop by, or RSS this site, for more new articles.

God Bless you all! ABC

(Rev.   20:12) All persons that can comprehend between good and evil will have to stand before the Lord; nothing is hidden from the eyes of the Lord.

Bibliography: Saint Bernadette Soubirous 1844-1879 By Francis Trochu, Pantheon Books 1957 – This book was the primary source of factual information used in this article, although never directly quoted.  Having also used Internet articles and other resources such as the Bible, it has always been my practice, to write my own impressions, using my own words and style of writing.

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PIT-BULL, NO BULLY, “Alpha” – The Real Leaders


Patty - Pitbull No Bully

PIT BULL NO BULLY

ABC & PATTY

PATTY - ALPHA LEADER

PATTY - ALPHA LEADER

PIT-BULL, NO BULLY

From a personal perspective .

By ABC

On the weblog banner at the top of each page of this website is an avatar women, which represents me “ABC”. Beside me is an avatar dog. That dog represents a real dog, who died this past Saturday, the day before Easter Sunday. This article is in memory of her.

Patty was her name. Half Pit-bull, half yellow Lab. She was a year old when we got her at a shelter for unwanted dogs. She had been there for over 3 months after found running loose in the woods. The family who called about her were her suspected owners who just didn’t want her anymore. We found out why..

Patty was very destructive in her early years, eating just about everything in the house that was wood or leather.  She was resistive to correction until we found the magic solution.. a tiny dab of hot pepper sauce applied to her mouth and a firm “no” while pointing out the latest destruction. This being recommended by an old-timer Vet.. the only thing that worked like a dream. Patty then became the pet of everyone’s dreams, soon, not needing the hot sauce at all.

Patty was the most cuddly dog I have ever owned. She would sit on my lap contentedly for hours, all 80 pounds of her. I often woke from a dream that I was suffocating, straining for every breath, waking up to find her lying full length across my body, the heaviest part, her big old head, on my chest.

I remember the many times she sat beside me while I wrote my anti-bullying blogs. My Pit Bully dog that wasn’t a bully at all. She was what literature describes as a true “Alpha” not the “bully” her breeds’ name suggests. “Alpha” means leading but not in an aggressive way. It’s a quiet command of strength and respect. Strangers at our door respected her fully, just her presence put the look of fear upon any intruder’s face. My true guardian.

After 8 long years that didn’t seem long at all, Patty developed breast cancer. She never complained during the several months it took for the cancer to ravage her body. During the morning of her last day she bled profusely through the wounds the cancer had made as she lay weakly on the couch we covered for her in the living room. While watching this transformation I came to the sad conclusion that it was time to put her down. I quietly sang her the songs I had made up for her throughout the years, then told her she would see Heaven today. I took last pictures. One of the best pictures I have of her, I printed for you at the top of this page. Then off to the Vet we went.

It’s ironic how she seemed to spring back to life as she saw me with the leash. The leash and the walk outside that it always promised, her favorite thing, gave her a strength I didn’t think she had left. Out to the car, she agilely hopped into the car, her second most favorite thing. She happily looked out the windows on the way to the Vet and kept her nose to the ground hungrily sniffing every animal who had ever been at the Vet’s, once there. So many smells.. She was enthralled. She didn’t seem to notice my tears nor that of my spouses nor that we were hugging her and saying goodbye. She followed the Vet tech away, out of sight without even looking back. Off to the Kingdom of Heaven. Goodbye for now, until we meet again!

—-“ALPHA” LEADER OF THE PACK, A REAL LEADER”—-

READ THIS INTERESTING ARTICLE ABOUT THE ANIMAL KINGDOM, ALSO A PLACE WHERE  BULLYING IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. READ ABOUT THE “ALPHA” LEADER OF THE PACK, A REAL LEADER!

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW.

http://insidetoronto.com/news/Column/article/33266

The Day of The Bully and The Saint


The Day of The Bully and The Saint.  

The True Story of The First Brutal Emotional Assault by My Bully Boss.   ABC

Praise God! He gave us a miracle, a REAL miracle! My Husband Mat’s biopsy showed NO abnormal cells, NONE. Less than a month ago the doctor said he’d have to have the bottom third of his esophagus removed, then immediately after the endoscopy, done to plan the surgery, she said we might be able to take a “watch and see approach”. He would need endoscopy tests every 3 months, and NOW, because of the biopsy reports, she’s saying he doesn’t need to have another endoscopy for a YEAR! There are no longer, any signs of cancer!I believe he is truly healed, and not just based on what the doctor is saying. He even LOOKS and feels healed! I swear, just 3 weeks ago after the doctor gave us the bad news and we were waiting for the endoscopy on the 18Th, he felt like a weak rack of bones when I hugged him, and when I looked into his eyes, he literally looked like he was dying. Every day he seemed worse and worse until the night before the endoscopy.

 

That’s when the miracle began. On Thursday the 17Th, the day I’ll always remember as the day that started with a devastating emotional blow from a Bully and ended with a miraculous healing from a Saint. If it hadn’t been for the Bully, I would have never been led to the Saint.

 

Mat was at his worse that morning when we got up, this being the day before the endoscopy and I got to work late. My boss knew how upset I was about Mat’s cancer. She emailed me the day before asking that I meet with her and a Human Resource representative to “discuss my needs”. As soon as I came in, I was led to a tiny room, no windows. I had always thought that this room, door always closed, was a closet. It contained just a small round table and three chairs. I felt claustrophobic, then anxious as I realized their expressions and body language weren’t supportive at all, nothing even close. I was afraid, they looked confrontational and I soon realized, as the first words spilled out, that this meeting had nothing to do with support, but had everything to do with taking me down, taking me down hard and brutally, emotionally.

 

My Bully Boss started by giving me a hard time about being late and then threw in an accusation that I’m intimidating to subordinates like data entry clerks, all younger women than myself. This left me reeling, as I knew these accusations were ridiculous. I’ve always enjoyed warm relationships with these younger women, never having a daughter of my own. They looked up to me and came to me with their problems, but now this!?! I asked what I did that was intimidating and was told they didn’t need to tell me that. As I explained my perspective of my relationships with these younger women, giving examples of my warm interactions with them, my Boss kept rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue for the benefit of the Human Resource representative. I was called a liar as I cried feeling totally stunned and disrespected by all of this.

 

This specific feedback was especially hard for me because I’ve always been very vocal about how important it is to treat people respectfully regardless of who they are or what the circumstances and about my views against “leading by intimidation” as I called it, before anyone heard the word “bullying”.

 

Just a few months previously, I spoke to my Boss privately. One of my coworkers confided in me that she wanted to sue the agency. She felt the Boss was nit picking and was yelling at her behind closed doors. I thought it was important that the Boss know this perception, which I didn’t believe. I thought it odd however, that the boss (whom I didn’t think of as a Bully yet), didn’t deny the nit picking. I was then taken aback by her glib inquiry as to why I cared, as she stated that the agency attorneys would take care of it and that I shouldn’t worry. I explained that I cared because my coworker was a person and had been a good worker up until the recent hysterectomy that she was recovering from. I suggested that our co-worker’s performance might improve if a supportive approach was taken and asked her to back off with the nit picking. The very next day I was saddened to hear that this coworker was transported to a psychiatric facility directly from a meeting she was in, with the Boss and a Human Resource representative. I remember thinking how sad it was that this coworker was mentally ill.

 

Now in retrospect I realized that my coworker was emotionally injured and it was the boss who was mentally ill! I had become her next target!

 

I ended up working so late that night, having been left unable to concentrate while crying at my desk. There was just one data entry clerk left in the office when I was finally ready to go. She’d only been with the agency a few months so I barely knew her. Mat was just sitting in my office waiting for me. So I went out into the big room where the data entry clerk was, sat down, and told her that I got negative feedback about how I come across to people and asked her how she, and the other data entry clerks feel about the way I am with them. She looked me in the eyes and said, “ABC, you are perceived as a women of God”. I believe that’s the highest compliment I ever got in my entire life. It touched me so much, I cried. I then confided that I was very concerned about Mat and told her about the endoscopy. She asked if she could pray with us which I said yes to. So she came into my office, and the three of us just prayed and prayed. At 9 PM, the security guard said we had to leave, so we went outside where she prayed even more, some of it in tongues! I felt so blessed and Mat did too.

 

From that day forward, Mat just got better and better and better. Today, he looks NORMAL and when I hug him, I don’t feel his bones any more. He feels strong and firm. He must have put on 20 or 30 lbs. He seems happy again and back to his normal self emotionally and mentally. He’s even been ready for work on time! All of this in just 10 days! I believe our lives were touched by a Saint that night.

 

I’m sorry I was so wordy, but I’m just so happy to be able to share the story of this miracle with you. The day Ill always remember as the day of the Bully and the Saint.    ABC

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