“Schadenfreude” – A Bully’s Satisfaction. By ABC.


Schadenfreude” – A Bully’s Satisfaction.

By ABC

Have you ever noticed a little smile sweep across your bully’s face just at the moment when you couldn’t feel more infuriated?  Well if you have, you are right.  “Real” Bullies, and by that, I mean bullies with a level of psychopathy, also referred to as sociopathy…

“gain satisfaction through

antisocial behavior”, characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal” –
-quoted from Wikipedia at this link:    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy#Perceptual.2Femotional_recognition_deficits

Although this resource uses the word “satisfaction” to describe

what  “a psychopath gains through their antisocial behavior”, it is an entirely different kind of  “satisfaction” than both defined and  experienced by most of us.  “A bully’s satisfaction” is a perverse form of satisfaction,  being malicious in nature, rather than joyful or positive, as defined in English dictionaries.

There is actually no English word which links personal “satisfaction” to another person’s misfortune or harm.  Such a word doesn’t exist, because most people, are incapable of thinking in those terms, while denying the existence of the  few, who do.  Some languages acknowledge those few, having words for them, like the German word;

“Schadenfreude”

–noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2011.

————————————————————————-

— n
delight in another’s misfortune

[German: from Schaden  harm + Freude  joy]
Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition
2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009

————————————————————————-

“What a fearful thing is it that any language should have a word expressive of the pleasure which men feel at the calamities of others; for the existence of the word bears testimony to the existence of the thing. And yet in more than one such a word is found. … In the Greek epikhairekakia,  in the German, ‘Schadenfreude.’ ”

As quoted by Richard C. Trench, “On the Study of Words,” 1852

So there it is!  “Such a thing exists”, two languages having words, thereby “bearing testimony to the existence of the thing”, namely, “a bully’s satisfaction”, words of my own, for lack of a more fitting,

German policemen tormenting a Jew in Rzeszów, ...

Image via Wikipedia

existing, English word.

“Schadenfreude” – “A bully’s satisfaction” – Remember the meaning well, if not the word(s), because the meaning does exists, even where a word for it does not, in the memory of many who have witnessed it.  Only some cultures, witnessing it enough,  to name it.

I wonder if the Germans came up with this word, before or after the Holocaust?

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Adult Bullying in The Wake of the Tucson Shootings. By ABC


Gov. Sarah Palin has breakfast and visits with...

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Adult Bullying in The Wake of The Tucson Shootings. By ABC

In the wake of the Tucson shootings, “adult bullying” in the United States has finally come forward as a recognizable topic in the media.  Although greatly misunderstood, and called by many other names, the issue of “adult bullying” is now a hot topic of public interest, with multimedia coverage and information sweeping across the nation daily.

President Obama has called for “Civility” in “political rhetoric”.  All sides are standing-down, putting their political agendas on hold, while the bullying behaviors of the political machine, continues to spin unabated and unrecognized as “bullying tactics”.  All the while, an entire nation of bystanders, watching, but not really seeing, that those hoping to gain, by pointing the finger of blame, are at the very core, of all that is wrong, when adults bully other adults.

“Adult bullying” is primarily about perception.  The “adult bully”, by this I mean a person with a level of “psychopathy”, is centered on how they are perceived and compared to, by others. Using tactics such as blame, twisted or half-truths, innuendo, gossip and lies, they are expert manipulators of people’s perception, capable of throwing an adversary’s character into doubt, while elevating their own political, social, or professional standing.

Firmly rooted in reality, able to reason, cope and distinguish the difference between right and wrong,  adult bullies, while having a level of psychopathy, mimic the normal behavior of others, and are not considered mentally ill in the usual sense of the word. These “successful psychopaths” have the appearance of emotional health, while having a diminished or absent ability to experience caring feelings for other people, instead, experiencing a type of satisfaction, with the misfortunes of others.  Our social denial, that people with such serious hidden flaws, really exists, and are a real threat in our day-to-day lives, adds to the prevalence and success of adult bullies, to do harm everywhere.

Can you spot the adult bully(ies), I mean the REAL bully(ies), with a level of psychopathy in this controversy? Here’s a hint; It’s not Sarah Palin.

Learn to Recognize it, Name it and End Adult Bullying and Mobbing Together!

How Can I Stop A Workplace Bully? ABC Answers Your Questions.


ABC Answers Your Questions

How Can I Stop A Workplace Bully?

Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 3:43 AM Said:Quantcast

Hi I am being bullied by my area manager , I am so stresses idont know what to do or who to go to for help .I cant really pin point what it is that she is doing but she makes me uncomfortable and I am constantely waiting for something to expload .My co worker and myself used to enjoy going to work , work was our second home ,the people their are our family ,we have worked there together for the past 13 yrs and this is the first time we feel stressed to go to work not knowing what is going to happen.we fee lshe wants to get rid of us as we have been there for too long, infact this is what I am hearing from other managers.how can Istop this.

ABC’S Reply

Dear anonymous,

In answer to your question –  By the time a person begins to realize that they have become the target of a real workplace bully, it is already, almost impossible to stop it!

When I first learned that I was a target of  a  “workplace serial bully boss”, the literature I came across, only gave targets like me, a 20% chance of keeping their jobs, while an estimated 80%, lost their jobs within two years.  Now, after reading hundreds, perhaps even thousands of articles, target and observers accounts, together with my own observations including the loss of my own job to bullying, I find these estimates to be optimistic at best.

I was devastated by these dismal statistics but was determined to keep the  job that I both loved and excelled in for over 25 years.  Knowledge is power as they say, which led to an almost obsessive desire to find, read and understand everything I could find on the bullying/mobbing phenomenon, fully believing, that once I understood it, I could beat it.

I learned that Real Bullies, are literally compelled to destroy their targets, due to a level of psychopathy (also called sociopathy).  They are not just arrogant and rude, but are hateful,  incapable of empathy and  normal caring emotions for others.

Workplace Bullying – More About Recovery, by ABC


Well Wishes From Reader

ABC, please post a reply and tell us, your followers, how you are doing, or if there is ANYTHING we can do to help you. I don’t even mind calling you. Honestly, your blog has saved countless numbers from more serious consequences from these psychopathic bullies. The serial kind is the MOST dangerous. We care about you…. please post a reply.

ABC Replies,

-Blind-sided by bullying professionals while seeking help with post-bullying job loss recovery-

Dear Readers,

Thanks to all my readers for all the encouraging words after my posting that I finally lost my job at the hands of my workplace serial bully boss.  I want everyone to know that I am feeling better and better each day, by the passage of time and by the support from all of you, my readers, my spouse and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

It is also a comfort to know that the anti-workplace bullying and mobbing movement, is gaining momentum in the United States due the tireless efforts of dozens of anti-bullying activists, blogs and support groups, growing in numbers every day, the understanding needed, that will one day make it possible, for all working Americans;  To Recognize it, Name it, and End Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together!

My journey through this experience has put me in a  position to learn more than I ever wanted to know, about the devastating effects of  “workplace bullies” and the “mobbing” behaviors caused by their influence and manipulation of others. This continues to play itself out, presenting a much bigger picture, in ways I never expected, as I go about the business of recovery.

Now, safely separated from the abuses of my workplace serial bully boss, I have been blind-sided by the final brutal tactics of my employer, the company itself, as represented by the Human Resource Department, in the course of the actual legal separation, from my 30 year employment with them.

As is the case with most any type of abusive relationship, my employer has taken steps to insure my silence, having successfully cornered me into a position commonly referred to as “between a rock and a hard place”, leaving little choice, but to sign their papers of “agreement”. My signature, a representation of being silenced by poverty and fear, the document being specifically inclusive of the agreement itself, and everything that preceded it. The signature representing the company itself, a representation of the management’s  knowledge, that even their own written words of  “agreement”  if published, would not be perceived as agreeable by others.  The seal of their abuse,  the requirement of my silence, and made evident by a truth I think most everyone can agree upon, that being;  Gag clauses exist for only two reasons, 1) National security.  2) To hide the truth!

I was then doubly blind-sided by bullying behaviors from 3 different psychiatric professionals I sought help from.  Additionally, being unwittingly brushed off by an employment attorney, followed by denials of my claims for continuation of first short-term, then long-term disability insurance coverage, provided by my employer.

This was all very perplexing to me.  Once again, I found myself  doubting my own perceptions, which lengthened my silence.  Having come to realize, I needed a deeper, more global understanding of the bullying phenomenon, now experienced outside the workplace, as well as needing certainty about my own perceptions, through meditation.

Unprepared to face bullying, called “psychopathy”, outside the workplace arena, I was initially blinded to that possibility as the reason that the 3 different psychiatrists, discarded my stated emotional injuries due to workplace bullying.  Instead, each concluded that I am “seriously mentally ill”, each very confident, about the widely varied diagnosis, they each came up with.  Each also, denied having previous knowledge of the workplace bullying and mobbing phenomenon, a concept which none of them seemed willing to look into, despite my insistence that this was central to my issue.

Their responses similarly hostile in their delivery, left me freshly stunned, the second, and then the third time, as if experienced for the first time. Finally, I came to realize, the similarity of their tactics, were more than just coincidence!

Finding through my research that this is a common problem among recovering targets, it didn’t take long for me to realize, that I missed the hallmark of bullies where ever they may hide. That being the similarities of their tactics, none of which makes sense to the sane.  Why would a psychiatrist, take a hostile stance while telling a seriously mentally ill patient their diagnosis, rather than coax them into the treatment they need? It just doesn’t make sense, a hallmark of bullying behaviors, for sure.

Stumbling across 3 psychopathic psychiatrists in a row, seemed statistically impossible and was hard to get past logically, but is actually easier than I thought, and even easier to explain, given the more global perspective, my research on “psychopathy” in society revealed.

This information, vital to all targets in the vulnerable, final stages, of a workplace bullying and mobbing campaign, will follow soon. In the mean time, recovering targets should take extra care to only seek bullying/mobbing related professional help, from professionals who already have an understanding of the bullying and mobbing phenomenon, and that psychiatrist, additionally, be recommended, by someone who really knows them.

Readers can help in the fight against workplace bullying and mobbing, by reaching out and teaching as many people as you can, about the phenomenon, and the devastating effects on targets and observers  everywhere.  Sharing your bullying stories, questions and comments on this website, is also a great help. The varying perspectives add a diverse quality to the content of the subject matter discussed.  So thanks again for the all the comments and well wishes, and please keep them coming!,

Let’s end it together!,

ABC

Job Loss due to Workplace Bullying, Taken Down by a Bully Boss. By ABC


Job Loss Due to Bullying / ABC Finally Taken Down By Bully Boss.  Next Step Recovery.  By ABC

I finally lost my job at the hands of my workplace serial bully boss, leaving at the end of November, after being accused of incompetence, based on uncompleted data entry, while working alone on a holiday.  Everything possible that could go wrong, did go wrong on that day, probably the worst day of my entire career.  I worked 11 hours that day, without a break or a meal despite being physically ill with a raging sore throat.

I called the office early the next morning reaching a coworker, and described the problems of the previous day, including how long I had worked.  I told her I would be late, being both exhausted and ill.  As soon as I arrived, I was called to Human Resources, where my bully boss was waiting, with a Human Resource Rep., having been found guilty before I could speak.   Detailing everything that went wrong, made no difference at all, having no witness to attest to my efforts.   She then added to her complaint, my arrival being late, while knowing I worked late and was ill.  Her total lack of empathy,  and disregard for my health, suddenly filled me with a chill, which grew into a fear, by the hate in her voice, thinking her capable of ending my life.  Stating I no longer felt safe, being expected to work ill, I finally left, never returning to my desk.

I had a horrible time with my bully boss for months prior to leaving my job which took a toll on my emotional and physical health.  For the first time in my life, I began having panic attacks, making my mind go blank, leaving me unable to respond to questions.

Since leaving my job, I feel utterly lost and physically and emotionally ill.  I never fully researched recovery after losing a job to bullying, feeling confident that my knowledge of the subject would be enough to protect my emotional and physical health and  prevent losing my job. How wrong I was!


Being a nurse, I logically concluded that I needed psychiatric treatment to help with my recovery, but after being evaluated by 3 different psychiatrists, I feel totally betrayed by that profession. NONE of them ever heard of workplace bullying and none of them seemed willing to take a few moments to look at my website or any other source of information on the subject. All three concluded that I was mentally ill, not emotionally injured, each labeling me with a different diagnosis.

The lessons learned;

-No matter how much you know about the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing, it is almost impossible to make it stop and keep your job.

-Never seek  medical, psychiatric or legal help, for issues related to workplace bullying, from a professional who doesn’t already have an understanding of the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing.

Being “emotionally stuck”, as one reader described it, I have been at a loss for words, leaving me unable to add new content to this website for several months.  But the passage of time in it’s self, is slowly improving my outlook, so keep coming back,  new content will follow soon, most likely about the subject of recovery after job loss due to bullying.

ABC

Workplace Bullying and Mobbing – Lets End it Together!!


Workplace Bullying and Mobbing – Let’s End it Together!!

-See the Comment below, a MUST READ from Teana, a reader of this blog who wrote in response to my article,   -ABOUT-ABC-

Comment:

I HAVE CONTACTED MY LEGISLATURES VIA EMAIL, SO FAR NO ONE HAS RESPONDED. AS A LAST RESORT I SENT LETTERS TO THEIR HOMES ASKING FOR SUPPORT BY SPONSORING AN WORKPLACE BULLYING BILL, SINCE THIS TOPIC HAS BEEN BROUGHT UP FOR YEARS AND KNOW ONE PUSHED THE ISSUE OUR GOVERNMENT NEVER ADDRESSED IT OR GAVE IT ANY SERIOUS ATTENTION. I HAVE AN ANTI BULLYING CAMPAIGN POST ON CHANGE.ORG UNDER  THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE TAB BECAUSE A LOT OF THE BULLYING WE HAVE ENDURED IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. AGAIN I ASK EVERYONE TO CONTACT THE LEGISLATURES AND LETS COLLABORATE TO BRING AWARENESS AND HELP EACH OTHER.

Comment by ABC

Let’s join Teana and write to  our legislatures today!

Spread the word about workplace bullying and mobbing !  It is my hope that one day,  all working Americans will know enough about Workplace Bullying and Mobbing – To Recognize it, Name it, and END Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together!   ABC – AntiBullyingCrusador

“Soap Opera” Fitting Discription for “Workplace Bullying and Mobbing”. By ABC


Commentary by ABC-

“Workplace Bullying and Mobbing” – A Common News Topic That is Rarely Called What it is.    Let’s Call it What it is

– Workplace Bullying and Mobbing-

Dear Readers,

Below is the beginning of an article, followed by a link to the entire article, titled “Is The Latino Affairs Commission a Soap Opera?” .  This article was published on September 13, 2009, in Connecticut’s largest, and the country’s oldest newspaper, The Hartford Courant.   The story describes the drama of a classic “workplace bullying and mobbing” campaign, unfolding within a government agency, which is then referred to as a “soap opera”.

“Soap Opera” is truly a fitting description for the antics of a workplace bully boss and the bully boss’s little mob, as they go about the business of destroying the most competent members of their staff.  This being a means of effectively eliminating the appearance of their own incompetence, by removing the competent basis of comparison, that bully bosses perceive as a threat.

The drama and high emotion elicited by the bully boss’s tactics of lies, and manipulation of coworkers against their targets, over ridiculous, seemingly trivial matters, is very much the stuff that soap operas are made of. Stories such as this, are published on a regular basis,  drawing the attention of readers to the human interest aspect of these stories, which are often quite literally, unbelievable.

Although Connecticut has a “Bullybusters” group, legislation has been proposed, and articles have been published on this subject, the words “workplace bullying and mobbing” are rarely, if ever used in articles that describe it.  As a result, most people in Connecticut have never even heard of “workplace bullying and mobbing” although have probably either read about it, experienced it or observed it themselves.

Read the article below, a truly prime example of “workplace bullying and mobbing”, then my commentary below it.   ABC

GOVERNMENT WATCH

Is Latino Affairs Commission A Soap Opera?

Jon Lender Government Watch September 13, 2009

Twelve months of turmoil have plagued the state’s Latino and Puerto Rican Affairs Commission, and it won’t let up.

First, the commission drew protests in September 2008 when it voted to fired its longtime director, Fernando Betancourt, then backed off on that, and finally negotiated a separation agreement with him two months later.

http://www.courant.com/news/politics/hc-government-watch-jon-lender-0913-column,0,3658764.column

Comment by ABC (published on the on-line edition of The Hartford Courant) 

 

The story above is a classic case of “Workplace Bullying and Mobbing”.  Few people in Connecticut know of this very common phenomenon which infects many of our workplaces.  At it’s very worse, workplace bullying and mobbing may result in an abused worker “going postal” or committing suicide, which sadly, most Connecticut workers have at least heard of.  More commonly, bullying and mobbing in our workplaces results in depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, high blood pressure and numerous other emotional injuries and stress related physical abnormalities. Once chosen as a “target” of a workplace bully, 80% are eliminated from their workplace within two years. Being a phenomenon, “Workplace bullying and mobbing” is predictable and easily recognized by those who have an understanding of this very complex and difficult to believe problem. It is likely the largest hidden expense in business today and when government agencies are involved, that means increased taxes. When words like “rumors”, “gossip”, threatened”, “intimidated” unprofessional”, “turmoil”, “crying” and “lied about” are used to describe a workplace, look for a “workplace bully” and their little “mob” of supporters. It’s my hope that one day all working Americans will know enough, to Recognize it, Name it, and End Workplace Bullying and Mobbing Together! ABC

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