Bullyonline. Resource and Internet Support Group


Bullyonline – Resource and Internet Support Group From a British Perspective. By ABC

Bullyonline is the first anti-bullying Internet support group that I came across. They are also the largest information resource on work place bullying in the world. It was this web site that gave me the first glimmer of insight and hope about 5 years ago. Validation and empowerment is the mission of “The Field Foundation” located in the United Kingdom. Their beloved founder, Tim Field, is a pioneer in the fight against work place bullying. Their information site is one that I will never stop reading. With more studies on the phenomena, the information on this site grows and changes as information becomes available.  Here is the link to their information site;

Site is at http://www.bullyoffline.org

Being located in the United Kingdom, most members of their Internet support group live there. Discussion often pertains to how bullying is addressed by that country’s legal system. As the legal system in the United States doesn’t address bullying at all, this information does not pertain to those of us who live in the USA. It’s interesting to read however, like a sneak preview, of the kinds of problems and barriers anti-bullying activist will be faced with, as we work towards our own anti-bullying legislation. Surprisingly, at least to me, is their stories of the kinds of difficulties posters of this group have, obtaining justice, despite the existence of anti-bullying laws. Another thing that is interesting about this group is their perception of “emotional injury” which is quite different in the USA. Emotional injury sustained on the job, is considered as serious and painful, as a physical injury. They refer to “stress breakdowns”, which are grounds for immediate removal from the bully, for emergency evaluation and treatment. “Stress breakdowns” on the job are then followed by extended periods of paid leave from the job with an expectation that the employer has a “duty of care” to provide for a “safe environment” upon the employee’s return. If the employer is not willing or able to eliminate the bully, or otherwise separate the target from the bully, then the employer considers “constructive dismissal” of the target, with benefits and monetary compensation.

This perspective of the affect of emotional abuse is quite different here in the US. After one of my first emotional assaults by my current bully, I couldn’t stop crying. The only “care” I received, was being told by a Human Resource rep. to “go outside and take a walk”. I couldn’t even form words to respond to her. I just walked back to my desk in a daze.

So click on the link below to join bullyonline. Thank you bullyonline members for your support and perspective. Sincerely, ABC


Click to join bullyonline

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Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon. By ABC


Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon

By ABC

Targets are often chosen by their bullies because of their better than average work performance. Bullies often feel threatened by good performers, because it increases their own feelings of inadequacy and shame. While mentally healthy people applaud and enjoy working and learning from those who excel, bullies can’t stand to see someone other then themselves shine.

Those whose good performance wins the attention of a bully, suddenly finds their successes minimized. Their once valued opinion is no longer asked. Their responsibility for unimportant matters often increases, while their authority is taken from them, often replaced by a bully’s friend. Targets are no longer asked to participate in planning meetings, special projects, or even social events. Important information is no longer communicated to them, as they are intentionally “taken out of the loop”, causing embarrassment and/or some kind of failure due to their lack of what coworkers perceive to be common knowledge. The bully begins a campaign of nitpicking, criticism, and personal insults usually done behind closed doors and in subtle ways. The bully often targets one person at a time, making it hard for coworkers to believe the abuse is real as reported by the target. Often, only the target and the bully themselves, know the true nature of the bully.

The target begins to react emotionally to these abusive changes, which they don’t understand, because there is no real reason other than the bully’s whim, even amusement at the targets distress. Targets often become obsessed by the bully, searching for the reasons for the abuse, that doesn’t exist. The bully points out the targets emotional distress to coworkers, often feigning concern, along with rumors, gossip and half or twisted truths about the target, in order to manipulate others into questioning the target’s competency and mental health..

Most coworkers believe the bully, not understanding that the target is displaying symptoms of an emotional injury, perpetrated by the bully, rather than mental illness as often alleged by the bully. Coworkers then unwittingly participate in the bullying, which is called mobbing. The few coworkers, who may know the truth, usually won’t stick up for the target, to avoid becoming a target themselves.

Isolation is the most emotionally painful experience a mentally healthy person can endure. That is why isolation is a primary tactic used to punish or torture. It is the bully’s most harmful weapon. I remember a Nun teaching in grade school that no one knows what Hell is like. We can only be sure of one thing. If you go to Hell, you will be ALONE.

Read more in the link below about  the affect of social isolation, which our bullies often cause. Isolation results in real damage to our health and well-being. Sincerely ABC

http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/full/63/2/273

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