Workplace, Adult Bully or Successful Psychopath, A Matter of Semantics. By, ABC


Workplace, Adult Bully or Successful Psychopath, A Matter of Semantics. By, ABC

Most everyone in the United States being familiar with the terms “going postal”, are very much affected by the “workplace bullying and mobbing phenomenon”. Very few however, understand what is really meant by these terms. Most, having only heard mention of adults in our workplaces described as “bully(ies)” and more recently in other life circumstances, but are unfamiliar with what is really meant when an adult is referred to as a “bully”.

People in several other English speaking countries, such as the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada, are more familiar with both the terms and the meaning of “workplace bullying and/or adult bullying and mobbing”. These countries being the first to recognize and determine that “adult bullying and mobbing” posed a problem in their workplaces, serious enough, to both educate and legislate against it. The only problem is that people in these countries use the term “bully” or “bullying” in reference to both the schoolyard bullying of childhood, AND when referring to adults who bully, although they are very different in nature. Most child bullies, being simply immature.

When people in the United States first hear about “the adult or workplace bullying and mobbing phenomenon”, most continue to quickly dismiss the notion of an “adult” who is a “bully” or adult(s) who use “bullying and mobbing” behaviors in the workplace. The word(s) “bully(ies)” seeming just too juvenile and petty to associate with a serious problem between adults. Instead, the word “cry baby” comes to mind in reference to the “target”.

It is not understood, that when the word “bully(ies)(ing)” is used to describe behaviors of an adult, who abuses other adults, the meaning becomes more concerning. These adults are thought to think very differently than most of us, having an absent or diminished ability to experience caring, empathetic feelings for other people. They also derive a type of satisfaction over the misfortune of other people , which they often cause by manipulating others covertly through lies and deception against their target(s), this is called “mobbing”.

People in the United States are more familiar with the medical terms “psychopath”, or “sociopath”, when referring to adults who lack or have a diminished ability to have caring feelings for other people.

But most are unaware, that some “psychopaths/sociopaths”, also happen to be highly intelligent, and are referred to medically as “successful psychopaths/sociopath”. They are “successful” in that their intelligence makes it possible for them to recognize and understand that they think differently and lack the caring emotions that other people express. Most “successful psychopaths/sociopaths” consider these differences as an advantage over others, and carefully learn to mimic the normal emotions of others. Their ability to deceive others, by appearing emotionally healthy, while using half truths and blatant lies is stellar. Their intelligence making it possible for them to remember the complex web of lies they weave, to succeed at deceiving everyone’s perception against their target(s}. Most “Adult bullies” in our workplaces more precisely share the characteristics of “successful psychopaths”.

Although most people in the US know some of the facts about psychopaths/sociopaths, most only know it as it pertains to adult abusers in the news, and in both true and fictional stories and movies, depicting heartless crimes against innocent or random victims.

Many feel confident in their ability to recognize and avoid these criminal personalities, not understanding that the psychopaths/sociopaths they read about or see in movies, only represent behaviors typical of psychopaths/sociopaths of average or low intelligence. Their lack of higher intelligence, resulting in their newsworthy arrests and the stuff of tales of crimes gone wrong.

The truth is, “adult bullies” are more precisely, intelligent adults, with a level of “psychopathy/sociopathy”.  Approximately 4% of the general population is comprised of “successful psychopaths”.  Possibly the greatest hidden threat, that the average American adult, is both exposed to, but knows little, or nothing about.

Learn more about “adult bullying and mobbing” and “successful psychopaths/sociopaths” today!  Who knows, the next psychopathic thriller may play out for real, at your workplace, or in other circumstances, where another adult has some type of authority or other advantage over you!

Reader Stops Bullying, Uses ABC’s Advice.


Dear Readers,

Below is an edited comment written by an anonymous  reader of this website..  Read this very positive comment in black type, then my response below in red type. Thank you “anonymous” for the compliments, but there is a bit more you need to understand. ABC

I was accused several times a day of wasting his money and being unproductive after months of this the attacks escalated to insults, mocking, his favorite insult was the slang word for the female reproductive organ ( the P word)!!!! . after almost a year of this, I was losing weight, losing sleep and losing my mind!!!.
I may have unknowingly called him to task ( this is before I found your site and realized exactly what was happening) I went in and said to him ” if I’m not making you any money why do you keep me here???” and guess what, he had no answer!!!! now the attacks have stopped since he gets NO reaction from me(something I learned thanks to ABC’s website!!) I now realize that I am good at what I do, if I were not he would fire me. so anyone who is being bullied at work keep your head up and press on, there is hope!! my boss is the owner of the company, there is nobody above him but by following what I learned on this site I was able to stop the bullying!!! thank you for enlightening me ABC, you truly are a an answered prayer.

-ABC’s reply to Anonymous-

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for the compliments.  Knowledge is power as they say and many targets see improvements in their situations once they gain an understanding of the workplace bullying and mobbing phenomenon.

Understanding that targets are chosen by bullies because of their positive attributes which bullies perceive as threatening, is a relief to know alone.  Then, experiencing results by “not reacting” to bullying behavior, gives a target the false impression that they have this problem licked.  But not so fast, it’s time to take pause, and learn a bit more.

Once a bully, always a bully.  Although bullies may have periods in which they take extra care to suppress their bullying behavior, they are still bullies and will always feel compelled to behave like bullies.

Once a target always a target.  Although the bully may back off and choose another target, your positive attributes are something that will continue to be very irritating to the bully.  It is important to know that even if your bully stops bullying you, you will always be vulnerable for a second strike by this same bully sometime in the future.

Always watch your back, and never trust this bully again.  It is hard for some targets to truly understand how likely it is that their bully may strike again.  Being back in the fold of their bully’s good graces, and again being included and spoken to by coworkers, feels so good.  The longer the bully backs off, the more confident the target feels, that all is well.  Their perception of the now past bullying and mobbing campaign, seems almost unreal.  The target  may think that this past episode was just a phase, or something they exaggerated in their mind.

Think again!  I am experiencing a second strike myself right now, after being essentially bully free for several months.   This is something I knew would happen, although the longer I was bully free, the easier it was for me to begin to doubt my perceptions.

Simply trying to correct my bully boss’s incorrect understanding about a detail of the process and flow of our work, was enough to put me back into primary target mode.

Once again, my bully boss and her little mob resumed all of their bullying and mobbing tactics leaving me singled out, isolated and emotionally and physically devastated.

Don’t kid yourself!  If your bully boss should back off, chances are it will not last.   Take this time to make as much money as you can while you find another job with a boss who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

ABC

Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon. By ABC


Isolation – A Bully’s Most Harmful Weapon

By ABC

Targets are often chosen by their bullies because of their better than average work performance. Bullies often feel threatened by good performers, because it increases their own feelings of inadequacy and shame. While mentally healthy people applaud and enjoy working and learning from those who excel, bullies can’t stand to see someone other then themselves shine.

Those whose good performance wins the attention of a bully, suddenly finds their successes minimized. Their once valued opinion is no longer asked. Their responsibility for unimportant matters often increases, while their authority is taken from them, often replaced by a bully’s friend. Targets are no longer asked to participate in planning meetings, special projects, or even social events. Important information is no longer communicated to them, as they are intentionally “taken out of the loop”, causing embarrassment and/or some kind of failure due to their lack of what coworkers perceive to be common knowledge. The bully begins a campaign of nitpicking, criticism, and personal insults usually done behind closed doors and in subtle ways. The bully often targets one person at a time, making it hard for coworkers to believe the abuse is real as reported by the target. Often, only the target and the bully themselves, know the true nature of the bully.

The target begins to react emotionally to these abusive changes, which they don’t understand, because there is no real reason other than the bully’s whim, even amusement at the targets distress. Targets often become obsessed by the bully, searching for the reasons for the abuse, that doesn’t exist. The bully points out the targets emotional distress to coworkers, often feigning concern, along with rumors, gossip and half or twisted truths about the target, in order to manipulate others into questioning the target’s competency and mental health..

Most coworkers believe the bully, not understanding that the target is displaying symptoms of an emotional injury, perpetrated by the bully, rather than mental illness as often alleged by the bully. Coworkers then unwittingly participate in the bullying, which is called mobbing. The few coworkers, who may know the truth, usually won’t stick up for the target, to avoid becoming a target themselves.

Isolation is the most emotionally painful experience a mentally healthy person can endure. That is why isolation is a primary tactic used to punish or torture. It is the bully’s most harmful weapon. I remember a Nun teaching in grade school that no one knows what Hell is like. We can only be sure of one thing. If you go to Hell, you will be ALONE.

Read more in the link below about  the affect of social isolation, which our bullies often cause. Isolation results in real damage to our health and well-being. Sincerely ABC

http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/full/63/2/273

ABC – AntiBullyingCrusador, Why The Alias?


ABC-AntiBullyingCrusador, Why the Alias?

I consider myself to be an Internet Anti-bullying activist. I go by the alias “ABC” for short, or “AntiBullyingCrusador”. I know the correct spelling is “crusader” but I spell it “crusador” to indicate that it’s a name, as opposed to a thing. I use this alias whenever I write about “work place bullying and mobbing”. I live in the United States where the phenomena of “work place bullying” is little known, although many of our work places are fully entrenched in a bullying culture.

I didn’t choose this mission of fighting workplace bullying and mobbing. I would have been perfectly happy if I had gone through my career never having experienced or observed the behaviors of those we refer to as “work place bullies” and those who support them, their behaviors referred to as “mobbing”. But, since I was chosen as a workplace target more than once, and observed the devastating effects on others that were also chosen as targets, it has become a moral obligation to do all that I can do to stop this terrible evil in our work places. I have always agreed with the statement that if you don’t try to stop something that is wrong, than you are a part of it. It’s not as simple as just walking away, at least not for me. Walking away may end workplace bullying and mobbing for me, but I worry about the unknown numbers of targets on the brink of suicide or “going postal”, only because of their lack of understanding, of the phenomenon referred to as “workplace bullying and mobbing.”

My first and primary mission is home care nursing. I am a nurse who loves her job and believes in the mission of the home care agency that I have worked for, for almost 30 years. I resent the fact that bullying and mobbing wastes valuable time that would be better served on our shared mission of providing quality home care services.

I have known my bully boss for over 20 years and have worked with the coworkers who support her for several years. I have developed a fondness for my bully boss and her supporters based on the length of our relationships alone, as well as for their many positive attributes. My bully boss is 62 years old and can retire at anytime. She has stopped bullying me and a coworker in recent months. Although I don’t doubt that she is capable of crushing me like a bug, at any time, if she could, I, being of a different nature, would never do anything to destroy her career this late in her game, unless I absolutely had no other moral choice, that being reason to believe, that she again resumed bullying behaviors.

My real name, My bully’s name and my employer’s, and where we reside, can be Any Name, Any City, USA…it could be yours. It is not my intention to expose my bully boss, her supporters whom I refer to as “little mobsters” in my blogs, nor my employer, and the Human Resource Department that represents my employer. They are all unwittingly entangled in the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing. Whether it be a coworker who turned into one of my bully’s “little mobsters” or a Human Resource Rep. who fails to acknowledge the existence of classic bullying and mobbing, they are all playing their roles, almost exactly as predicted on bullying and mobbing articles on the Internet. It’s all very predictable. My “true stories” are true from my perspective, a target of workplace bullying and mobbing. It all sounds unbelievable I’m sure, but that’s what workplace bullying and mobbing is, Unbelievable! There are millions of people just like me, with incredibly similar stories.

Getting the word out about workplace bullying and mobbing is an important public health message, literally saving the lives and emotional and physical health of unknown numbers of targets. This is my only motive, reaching out to those targets whose health and lives are threatened by their lack of understanding of this little understood phenomenon.

It’s my hope that someday, all working Americans will have a thorough knowledge and understanding of the phenomenon of workplace bullying and mobbing. Let’s recognize it, name it and end workplace bullying and mobbing together! ABC

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